Monday, October 12, 2009

A WELL CHOSEN IMAGE CAN ENTICE FOREVER

You'll notice that I've never used a bogus photo to attract attention to myself..
in fact, my photos have always been posted with the idea of amusement,
it's only now that I feel compelled to post a ersatz photo of myself
so that thoughts of my appearance can finally be dispelled
I say this because people display false images so they might silently reap the benefits those images by unsuspecting individuals
me..notn' special

Lest Images Seem Ambiguous

I will henceforth display this image

solely for those are concerned of my appearance

the look is important I know,

after a time I agree,

as I see you, you see me

Crusin' For a Brusin'

hahahahaha

http://media.mtvnservices.com/video/player.swf?uri=mgid:cms:mvideo:cmt.com:40319&group=music&type=error&ref=None&geo=US

I just love this

Aging Gracefully

banana dancing gifbanana dancing gifbanana dancing gifbanana dancing gifbanana dancing gifbanana dancing gifbanana dancing gifbanana dancing gif


$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug
into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used
to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started
to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo
hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK.
I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change
hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood
there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet?" A mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with
Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode
to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of
me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter
disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind
hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition,
but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still
nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview
mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat.
Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on
the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.
Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be
leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the
bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached
to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the
restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail
polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say
was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to
ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and
apply for Social Security benefits.

Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad
came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink
and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by
mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly
apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this
all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was
racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius... And no, I told the officer, I'm not
too old to be driving this fast..

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed
her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my
rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today.


The people who are starting college this fall were born in 1991.


They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.


Their lifetime has always included AIDS.


The CD was introduced two years before they were born.


They have always had an answering machine.


They have always had cable..


Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.


Popcorn has always been microwaved.


They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.


They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.


They never heard: 'Where's the Beef?', 'I'd walk a mile for a Camel ', or 'de
plane Boss, de plane'.


McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.


They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.


Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.


Notice the larger type?


That's for those of us who have trouble reading.


P.S. Save the earth.. It's the only planet with chocolate.

the Eels are Cool

the Word for Monday

VACUOUS

1. without contents; empty: the vacuous air.
2. lacking in ideas or intelligence: a vacuous mind.
3. expressing or characterized by a lack of ideas or intelligence; inane; stupid: a vacuous book.
4. purposeless; idle: a vacuous way of life.

Synonyms: bare,dull,uncomprehending,

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I AM AFRAID

Can you say that? Can you admit your fear?

I need to write a few blogs about FEAR

I think that fear is one of the biggest motivators on the planet..

what do you fear? are you motivated by fear? perhaps you're afraid to even discuss it LOL..living in fear particularly early in life, is very formative because it captures the young victim and it doesn't let go..you've read about PTSS (post traumatic stresss syndrome)..the young aren't wise enough to fight back..they are victims until they realize they must do something about this fear that rules their life

I think fear affects everyone..those who deny their fears I feel are liars and likely in need of counseling..those who recognize that they have fears unltimately realize they must face their fears..there are so many fears..and I'm not talking of psychotics..I speak of fear of failure..fear of being poor..fear of appearing stupid or too smart..fear of saying the wrong thing..fear of rejection..fear of loving or being loved..fear of appearing too sexy or ugly..fear of what others might say..fear you won't fit in or you will stand out..fear people won't like you..fear you talk too much or too little..it goes on and on ..

more to come on FEAR

a Joke for Monday

When Antonio came home from school, his grandmother asked him what he'd learned in school that day. Antonio replied, "Well, Grandma, we learned about penises and vaginas and sexual intercourse and masturbation. " Grandma slapped Antonio, hard, right upside the head. He ran to his room in tears. Antonio's mother walked in and cried, "Ma! Why did you hit Antonio?" Grandma replied, "Because when I asked him what he learned in school today he started talking about sex and penises and vaginas and masturbation! " "Ma! That's what they do these days--it's called sex education." Grandma felt so bad about hitting Antonio that she went upstairs to apologize. When she opened his door, she found Antonio masturbating on his bed. She said, "Antonio, when you've finished your homework, come down and talk to me."

LOL gif

a Joke

old couple

An elderly couple were driving through County Kerry, Ireland. Irene was driving when she got pulled over by the police, who asks her, 'Ma'am did you know that you were speeding?' Irene turns to her husband, Mick and enquires, 'What did he say?' Mick yells out, 'He says you were speeding!' The policeman said, 'May I see your license, please ma'am?' Irene, once again, turns to Mick and says, 'What did he say?' Once more, Mick, shouts out, 'He wants to see your license!' Irene gives the policeman her driving license. The cop retorts, 'I see you are from Kerry. I spent some time there once and had the worst date I have ever had.' For the final time, Irene turns to Mick and asks, 'What did he say?' Mick yells very loudly, 'He thinks he knows you!'

the Word for Sunday

IMPECUNIOUS

Lacking money; penniless

Synonyms: hard up,penurious,poor,

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