a Joke

Becky Silverstein says to Jackie Silverstein, "You're going out of town for three days and I have no money. Can you look at the car and possibly see if you can find out what's wrong with it. It keeps stalling!"

Jackie replies, "Take a look on my forehead. Do you see written 'Henry Ford?'"

Becky says, "If you can't look at the car can you at least look at the washing machine? I can't get it to work properly."

Jackie replies, "Becky, take a look on my forehead. Do you see written, 'Mr. Maytag?"

When she asks Jackie to look at the grill that's not working he replies, "Take a look at my forehead, Do you see written George Foreman?"

After three days away he comes into the house to see the washing machine working perfectly. He then goes into the garage and starts the car. The engine purrs pefectly. He then notices steaks on the grill.

He says to Becky, "How did you get all of this fixed? You said you had no money?"

Becky replies, "You know Mr. Rodiguez the handyman. He said he would fix it for me free if either I made love with him or if I made him a good dinner."

Jackie asks, "So what did you cook for him?"

Becky replies, "Jackie, Take a look on my forehead. Do you see written Betty Crocker?"

the Word for Friday

ABSTREUSE

difficult to penetrate; incomprehensible to one of ordinary understanding or knowledge

Synonyms: deep, recondite

Principal Resigns After Showing Students in Sex Tape

A Kentucky principal last month screened school surveillance footage showing two teenagers having sex in the lunchroom and provided lurid play-by-play commentary as fellow educators watched the video in his office.

In the wake of a probe of his bizarre behavior, Dave Wilson retired last week as head of Louisville Male High School.

On September 3 Wilson summoned several co-workers to his office. They arrived to find a darkened room with five chairs pointed toward a large white screen. Using a projector connected to his laptop, Wilson, pictured at right, screened a ten-minute video showing the teens having sex the prior afternoon. "Hey, baby, why don't you come over here and grab my pencil," and "It won't take me long, I am like the minute man," were two of Wilson's comments as the video played, according to witnesses. While the pantsless girl, an 11th grade student, sat in the boy's lap, Wilson slowed the video down and remarked that the group could watch it in slow motion or he could speed the clip up and "make him go even faster."

At the video's conclusion, Wilson could be seen approaching the teens. One witness reported that "Wilson and others" had been watching the students in real time, and when they "were finished having sex," Wilson entered the cafeteria to "run the students out of the building."

The school district's probe of Wilson also turned up allegations that he showed up to school events intoxicated and made inappropriate comments to students and staff. In a September 29 letter, Wilson announced his retirement, effective after he had used up his remaining vacation and personal days.

Bus stop proposal: man proposes to girlfriend with an ad at her stop

Chicago Tribune

Eric Anderson wanted to do something big when he proposed to his girlfriend, Rachel Clark.

So when he spotted the bus shelter at Sheridan Road and Surf Street with available ad space, he had found the site to declare his love to Clark -- and to commuters on Routes 134, 143, 151 and 156. Most importantly, it's the stop Clark uses most days.

"At first I was afraid it wouldn't be very romantic -- it's a bus station," he said. "But I mentioned it to her sister and my cousin, and they were both excited about it. I had two women who liked it, so I went with it."

Anderson, 25, contacted JCDecaux, which manages the city's bus shelters. The firm typically charges up to $3,000 a month for bus stop ads -- a price out of Anderson's reach. But his request pulled on the heart strings of JCDecaux account executive Sandy Pickett.

"I approached my sales director," Pickett said. "Being a romantic, she said, 'Let's go for it!' "

So the company let Anderson rent the space for one week at a discounted rate, and Wednesday morning, the proposal went up: "Rachel! I love you! Let's be a team forever! Will you marry me? XOXO, Eric." It included symbols of a heart (for love), the scales of justice (she's an attorney), a gear (he's an engineer for Ford Motors) and a knot (as in, let's tie the ...) running down the side.

"I was lost in my own little world," Clark said of arriving at the stop Wednesday. "I marched up to the bus stop, and he was standing behind it. ... He's like, 'Read the sign!' I started giggling and laughing going, 'Yes, yes!' "

As morning commuters ignored the Lakeview couple, Anderson got down on one knee and presented Clark, 28, with a stone passed down in his family for 130 years.

Now, until the sign comes down, Clark gets to relive her proposal each day on her way to work.

"It's kind of cool to have this sort of little secret in the morning," she said. "I want to be like, 'That's me! I'm getting married!' "

a Joke for Friday

In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car. The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?"
Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!" The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.

The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Charlie, how are you doing?"
Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago."
"Great," replied the nurse.

The nurse leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously masturbating. Shocked,
she asks, "Bob, what are you doing?!"

Bob says, "I'm screwing Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago!"