►WHIRLED GNUS◄: May 24, 2011

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The world's worst hunting dog?

A bumbling beagle has been branded the world's worst hunting dog after failing to spot a fox trotting along behind him.

The hapless hound had strayed too close to a den containing four cute fox cubs.

But their protective parents were not going to be hounded out without standing their ground.

The foxes shot off through the undergrowth to confront the hound, but, amazingly, the male fox ended up behind the dog.

Naturalist and photographer Mircea Costina captured the amazing scene in a forest north of Montreal, Canada.

He said: "I have been watching this one fox family for three years since 2008. This year they had four little pups and the two parents are very protective.

"This one day, around 7am, I was close to their den, trying to take some pictures. Suddenly the two parents became very agitated.

"In the next moments I heard a dog barking. The male looked to try and see the intruder while the female attempted to pursue him.

"The dog was getting very close to the den when the male saw the hound and started tracking it.

"Luckily the dog gave up and finally left and the family remained safe. I think he was more interested in the game of smelling the fox trace. The master recovered the dog and put him on a leash.

"It was the first time in my life when I saw foxes so brave and who managed to fight back against a hunting dog to defend their pups with their life. An unforgettable story!"

JOKE: Sex At The Nursing Home..........

Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home.

Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden

behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and

long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They

begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have

passed.

After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to

Mildred and asks, 'Do you know what I miss most of all?'

She asks, 'What?'

'Sex!!' he replies

Mildred exclaims, 'Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up

if I held a gun to your head!'

'I know,' Harold says, 'but it would be nice if a woman

could just hold it for a while.'

Well, I can oblige,' says Mildred, who unzips his trousers,

removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to

meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and

Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.

Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting

place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was

O.K.

She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found

him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident,

who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, 'You two-timing son of a bitch!

What does Ethel have that I don't have?'

Old Harold smiled happily and replied, 'Parkinson's.'

Joshua Monson's Lawyers Keep Getting Stabbing Pains

We're not sure if stabbing lawyers should be considered a crime -- or merely a thoughtful act of community service. But it seems the barristers of Everett, Washington are getting a little tired of being attacked by 27-year-old accused killer Joshua Monson...

He's charged with the January shooting death of Brian Jones. Now he's having a little difficulty maintaining his courtroom decorum.

Tom Cox was his first lawyer. But Monson apparently wasn't happy with his professional skills. So he snuck a pencil out of jail and stabbed Cox in the neck while they were in court.

Cox wasn't seriously hurt, but he decided to resign from the case, making it the first incident in legal history where a lawyer has turned down billable hours.

So Monson was assigned a second lawyer, Gurjit Pandher. But once again, he decided to stab him with a pencil too. Pandher wasn't hurt -- it seems Monson is way better at shooting than he is at stabbing. But Pandher also resigned from the case.

Now, to make sure someone will defend Monson in court, a judge has decided to have his arms strapped to a chair whenever he appears. He'll also undergo a medical examination to see if he's crazy -- or if he's just a Good Samaritan trying to rid the world of a plague.

Sheep and goats act as guides for blind horse

Michelle Feldstein was prepared to provide special accommodations for the blind horse she recently added to the flightless ducks, clawless cats and homeless llamas inhabiting her animal shelter in Montana. But nothing could prepare her for the 40-legged, seeing-eye entourage that accompanied "Sissy," a sightless, 15-year-old quarter horse.

"Sissy came with five goats and five sheep - and they take care of her," said Feldstein, the force behind Deer Haven Ranch, a private rescue facility she runs with her husband, Al, on 300 acres north of Yellowstone National Park. The seeing-eye sheep and guard goats are never far from the white mare, and they never lead her astray. They shepherd Sissy to food and water, and angle the horse into her stall amid blowing snows or driving rains.

"They round her up at feeding time and then move aside to make sure she gets to the hay," Feldstein said. "They show her where the water is and stand between her and the fence to let her know the fence is there." The animals might have been marked for death had Feldstein not intervened when another rescue facility in western Montana folded this winter. "I only take animals that others consider throwaways," said Feldstein, 66.

Feldstein and her husband, a retired editor of Mad Magazine, underwrite their rescue operation. It can cost as much as $50,000 a year for feed, veterinarian services, and winter-time heating of barns and water troughs for a total of 200 animals. The couple also run a guest house for humans whose profits are poured into the animal sanctuary. Feldstein said she marvels at the blind mare and her barnyard attendants. "There's a magic involved in sheep, goats and a horse becoming best friends," she said. "When you watch them, you have to wonder, why can't people do that?"

http://www.deerhavenranch.net/index.html

http://www.deerhavenranch.net/News.pdf