JOKE: A construction worker walks into a bar

A construction worker walks into a bar. He's a rather large, menacing guy. He orders a beer, chugs it back, and then bellows, "All you guys on this side of the bar are pussies! "

A sudden silence descends. After a moment, he asks, "Anyone got a problem with that?" The silence lengthens.

He then chugs back another beer and growls, "And all you guys on this side of the bar are assholes! "

Once again, the bar is silent. He looks around belligerently and roars, "Anyone got a problem with that?"

A lone man gets up from his stool unsteadily and starts walking towards the man. The construction worker looks the man square in the eye and says, "You got a problem with that, buddy?"

"Oh no," insists the man, in a limp wristed-sounding voice. "I'm just on the wrong side of the bar!"

Cat mourns loss of bear friend

It was a bizarre friendship from the start when zoo cat Muschi wandered into the bear enclosure 10 years ago and cuddled up to brown bear Mauschen.

Now keepers say the cat is in mourning after her 42-year-old pal died of old age at Berlin Zoo in Germany.

Keeper Andre Schule explained: "She had been ill for some time and in a lot of pain. She was one of the oldest bears alive in the world and had lived far longer than she would have done in the wild."

"But poor Muschi is inconsolable. They shared a bed together but it'd be too dangerous to let her back into the bear enclosure without her friend there to protect her," he added.

Dog helps monitor little girl's diabetes

Sergeant Jake Watson has been training canines for years with the Montgomery sheriff's department. Now, a training task is more personal. Watson's daughter Ella has Type 1 Diabetes. She's insulin dependent and can even take her own blood sugar. But at such a young age, the disease can be a dangerous roller coaster. So her dad decided to train a British Lab as a diabetes alert dog.

The canine, Jude, could start sensing changes in Ella's blood sugar levels when he was just an 11 week old puppy. Now he alerts Ella's parents by bringing them a pink baton when he senses dangerously low or high levels. The Watsons trained Jude to know when Ella's blood sugar drops below 100 or spikes above 250. The dog actually smells the change in chemistry on Ella's breath. Jude bows when the blood sugar is low and waves when it's high.

"It does give us a sense of security because he can sense those changes, in between when we check her every three hours, her blood sugar can be really low or really high especially because she's so little. We can't always sense the change in her behaviour," said Watson.

There are only about 50 diabetes alert dogs in the US. Over the last five years, more and more families have started turning to the dogs to help monitor their loved ones with diabetes. Training a diabetes alert dog can cost up to $10,000. The Watsons saved on that expense, because of Jake's history with the canine training unit. The family knows not everyone can afford the dogs, so they've started participating the the Wildrose Kennel's non-profit organization. Every year 15,000 kids are diagnosed with the incurable disease.

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