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JOKE: The Irishman and the Genie

An Irishman walking along the beach found a bottle lying in the sand. He picked it up, brushed it off, and out popped a genie. "Since you have freed me from this bottle, I will grant you three wishes."

The Irishman thought a moment and said, "I'm feeling a might thirsty. I think I'll wish for a pint of stout." And poof! there was a pint of stout in his hand.

He drank it down and started to toss the bottle away, when the genie said, "Look at that bottle before you throw it away."

He did and watched as it magically refilled itself with stout. "That's a magic bottle. It will refill itself whenever you empty it. So what are your other wishes?"

The Irishman grinned. "I'll be taking two more of these!"

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US woman who carried Olympic torch in England has tattoo mishap

A woman who got a new tattoo to celebrate her role in the Olympic torch relay was shocked to discover it had been spelled incorrectly. Jerri Peterson, from Atlanta in the US, carried the torch through Derby on 30 June after being nominated by the hotel chain she worked for. Before coming to England she decided to get a tattoo to mark the occasion. It was only hours later she spotted it featured the mis-spelling "Oylmpic".

Mrs Peterson was one of 70 international employees selected by her firm to take part in the relay as a thank you for her years of charity work. She said: "I always wanted to have a tattoo but I never quite felt passionate about any one thing to have it put on my body permanently. So when I was selected for this wonderful honor, I thought 'that's it - I'm ready to have my tattoo'."

She booked a session with a "really good" tattoo artist in her home city of Georgia, and took a friend along for moral support. Initially she was delighted with how it looked and it was only when she sent a photo of the tattoo to a friend that the spelling mistake was pointed out. She said: "I looked at it and I was so disappointed. I called my husband and he giggled a little bit.

"Then I started laughing about it and I've laughed ever since." Mrs Peterson pointed out the mistake to the tattoo artist responsible but declined his offer to correct it. She said: "He felt so bad when he found out. He wanted to fix it but I decided I want to keep it. It's fine. It's the Oy-limpics - it's as unique as I am."