JOKE: Russ and Sam

Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! -- there sat Russ! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.

Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?'

Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.'

'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for?'

'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'

'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?

'Well, the little gold-digging witch figured I was rich and she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old,

I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'.

'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'

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Woman watched NASCAR with deceased man for over a year

Many of us like watching races in the company of other NASCAR fans, but Linda Chase of Jackson, Mich., might have taken that just a bit too far.

For the past 10 years, she lived together with Charles Zigler. And when Zigler passed away, they continued to live and watch NASCAR together for approximately 18 months until authorities found Zigler's body on Friday.

Zigler, known as Charlie, died naturally, Linda Chase said. "He just fell asleep." She kept him in his chair after he died, keeping him dressed and cleaned. His body did not stink, she said. She would talk to him and watch NASCAR races on television with him.

The mummified body of Charles Zigler was found at this home in Jackson, Michigan.

Jackson officials believe that Zigler, who would have been 67 or 68, died around Christmas of 2010. That was 18 months ago. When Zigler's family members went to check on him after not hearing from him for a while, they went to the police, who found Zigler's body in his chair.

Chase kept Zigler's body around for more than NASCAR races, however. She's admitted to cashing his social security checks, saying "I'm probably going to prison." She's currently being investigated. When family members, with whom Zigler did not have a close relationship, tried to contact him, Chase would tell them that he was gone. She told the paper that "It's not that I'm heartless. It's just that after so many bad things happen to you, I don't know.

"I didn't want to be alone. He was the only guy who was ever nice to me."

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VIDEO: Vehicle crashes onto docked boat

It was a strange sight on a usually quiet dock in Ottawa County on Thursday morning. "In 22 years you don't expect to get a call of a car sitting on top of a boat," said Sgt. Curt Theune of the Spring Lake-Ferrysburg, Michigan Police Department. For the second time in three years the same woman has been involved in a crash involving her vehicle and a body of water.

Witnesses said Cari Draft's vehicle backed into some machinery in the parking lot of the Holiday Inn in the 900 block of W. Savidge Street in Spring Lake, Michigan. She then drove forward and her vehicle went between some trees, airborne, over a nearby dock and landed on a boat in the water.

Witness Ed Gillies saw Draft sitting on the boat after the crash at around 5:50 a.m. "She looked at the car and she said, 'Boy, I really did it this time,'" said Gillies. "She said she just started getting dizzy and next thing she knows she's sitting on the bow of a boat with her SUV there." Gillies said Draft was on her way to teach a fitness class when she pulled over into the parking lot.

Police said alcohol was not involved. They believe a medical issue caused Draft to crash. Draft, 47, was taken to North Ottawa Community Hospital for treatment to a small cut on her face. In 2009 Draft was driving on Boom Road near 148th Avenue near her home in Ottawa County when she felt dizzy and pulled over but crashed into the Grand River.