##### 642 WOMEN HAVE PMS #####

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out is window and gave the woman the finger.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female who has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? I don't think so.

VIDEO: Hilarious..Japanese Binocular Soccer

Extramarital sex fuels earthquakes, warns Iran cleric

A senior Iranian cleric has claimed that dolled-up women incite extramarital sex, causing more earthquakes in Iran, a country that straddles several fault lines.

"Many women who dress inappropriately ... cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes," Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi told worshippers at overnight prayers in Tehran.

"Calamities are the result of people's deeds," he said.

"We have no way but conform to Islam to ward off dangers."

The Islamic dress code is mandatory in Iran, which has been under clerical rule for more than three decades.

Every post-pubescent woman regardless of her religion or nationality must cover her hair and bodily contours in public. Offenders face punishment and a fine.

Faced with death sentence, Canadian rat is 'deported'

Matilda is a pet rat, and Alberta is a proud rat-free province, the only one in Canada. Recently, she moved to Calgary from Vancouver with her family, only to discover she was to be given a death sentence.

The family did not know that Alberta law does not allow for rats to be kept even as indoor pets. Instead of paying a $5,000 fine, they decided to give up the pet so it could be put down.

She was to be euthanized, but a rescue group came forward to fly her back to British Columbia, and save her life. Matilda flew out of Calgary on Friday.

"We had the ability to transport it at no cost to the taxpayer. It's a humane choice," said Bill Bruce, who is the director of Calgary's animal bylaw services.

VIDEO: Burglar falls off ladder 6 times trying to escape

TULSA, Okla

Surveillance video caught a bumbling burglar taking a fall, over and over, for his crimes.

Tulsa Police say the suspect broke into the Drug Warehouse early Tuesday morning.

The suspect moved a ladder around the store, trying to get out after he heard police sirens outside. But, every time he climbed into the ceiling, he fell through.

It happened six times before he finally got away on the seventh try.

Officers are still looking for him.

Jack Russell Terriers Love Riding Motorcycle

Motorhead Sheryl Vervoort is no road hog, but her motorcycle passengers are certainly road dogs.

The 62-year-old woman's two best friends are her pet Jack Russell dogs, Mickey and Goofy, and the pair love nothing more than taking a ride with their owner in the specially designed saddlebags that Sheryl hangs either side of her 650cc Yamaha Cruiser.

"There is nothing like it - viewing the country with your dogs alongside," she said.
"The dogs get really excited when I get my bike out. I've created special shields to ensure their eyes don't get damaged. They sit on sheepskin that's designed to be really comfortable. They are very secure in the bags and can't jump out."

Aussie Cookbook Recalled After Recipe Includes 'Freshly Ground Black People'

It is a tiny misprint, but an Australian publisher had to pulp a cookbook after one recipe called for "salt and freshly ground black people" to be added to the dish, AFP reported Saturday.

Penguin Group Australia pulped and reprinted about 7,000 copies of "Pasta Bible" after the typographical error was found in the ingredients for spelt tagliatelle with sardines and prosciutto, The Sydney Morning Herald reported.

"We're mortified that this has become an issue of any kind, and why anyone would be offended, we don't know," head of publishing Bob Sessions was quoted as saying.

Penguin said almost every one of the more than 150 recipes in the book called for salt and freshly ground black pepper but a misprint occurred on just one page, probably as a result of a computer's spellchecker program.

"When it comes to the proofreader, of course they should have picked it up, but proofreading a cookbook is an extremely difficult task. I find that quite forgivable," Sessions said.

He said it would be extremely hard to recall the stock but if anyone complained about the "silly mistake" they would be given the new version.