TODAY'S SCIENCE LESSON

JOKE: The Cop and the Kid

A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street,

when a little girl On her new shiny bike stopped beside him.

'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'

'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!

The cop looked the bike over and handed

the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.

The cop said, 'Give this to your Dad, and next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it!'

The young girl looked up at the cop and said,

'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'

Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered, 'Yes, he sure did!'

The little girl looked up at the cop and said:

'Next year tell Santa;

The dick goes underneath the horse, not on top'!!!

VIDEO: Birds Are So Cool..This is a Hoopoe

Video Taking Voyeur Picked the Wrong House

By the time Kenneth Parkerson told a nurse he made a mistake, the evidence was already on his face.

Parkerson, 28, was arrested Wednesday night after he allegedly sneaked into the screened patio of a home, carrying a video camera, police said.

The homeowner's wife saw him and yelled for her husband, Pembroke Pines firefighter Ireneusz Fajkis, according to the police report.

Fajkis chased Parkerson onto his front lawn and tackled him to the ground, according to the police report.

Parkerson, of Coral Springs, was taken to Coral Springs Medical Center, where he talked to a nurse treating his wounds.

"I picked the wrong house," he reportedly said, "because a UFC [mixed martial arts] fighter lived there and beat me up."

Parkerson was arrested on one count of burglary, one count of video voyeurism, one count of marijuana possession and one count of tampering with evidence, for allegedly trying to destroy the camera while he was being chased.

Boy has 4 inch splinter removed from his eye... TWO YEARS after falling on a stick

An 11-year-old boy has had a 10cm-long wooden splinter pulled from his eye - two years after he fell on a stick while playing with friends..
Rahul Devi had the splinter removed by surgeons in Delhi, India during a grueling six-hour operation.
The schoolboy had been seconds from death for the past two years as the stick had penetrated his brain, narrowly missing his brain stem and carotid artery.

His mother, Ratna Devi, said: 'The stick broke when he tried to get up. We took him to a local hospital where the doctors said they couldn't remove it.
'So we took him home and hoped maybe it would come out by itself.'

After two years, Rahul could no longer bear the pain and his parents took him fom their home in Kashmir to Delhi.
He was seen by doctors at the All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS), who were shocked to see the unusual case.
'I got goose pimples when I saw the boy walk into my outpatient clinic with a stick poking out of his left eye,' said associate professor Sarat Chandra.
'I was even more horrified to find out this had been there for two years. During this time he continued with all his activities like playing, going to school, climbing trees and swimming.'

Tests revealed the splinter had penetrated the boy's brain, including areas responsible for speech and vision.
Dr. A K Mahaptra, head of the Neurosurgery department said: 'It was nothing short of miracle.
'All the major areas in the brain were affected by the splinter, but there were no complications.

'It is surprising that he didn't develop an infection as the foreign body has been inside for more than two years. The boy is simply lucky.'
Doctors had to be very careful during the surgery, as the slightest error may have proved fatal.
They now believe that Rahul, who has lost all vision in his left eye, will take at least a month to recover.

Polish pop star claims Bible written by drunks

Dorota Rabczewska, famed for an unabashed attitude when it comes to flaunting her flesh, and a string of hits, has been charged by Warsaw prosecutors with insulting religious feeling for comments she made in a television interview a year ago.

Better known by her stage name Doda, the 26-year-old singer ruffled conservative sentiment in Catholic Poland by explaining that she believed more in dinosaurs than the Bible because "it is hard to believe in something written by people who drank too much wine and smoked herbal cigarettes." This prompted furious Catholic groups to lodge complaints with the prosecutor's office.

"It is clear that Doda thinks that the Bible was written by drunkards and junkies," said Ryszard Nowak, chairman of the Committee for the Defence Against Sects, an organisation dedicated to protecting Christian values. "I believe that she committed a crime and offended the religious feelings of both Christians and Jews." If found guilty the pop star faces a two-year jail sentence or a hefty fine under Polish blasphemy laws.

VIDEO: Deer Attacks Fat Guy

Miami principal's filthy e-mail has parents irate

EVA RAVELO's FACEBOOK PAGE

Parents at Coconut Grove Elementary School are calling for the ouster of Principal Eva N. Ravelo this week after she told a parent in an e-mail to ``eat sh-- and die.''

The controversy, which is now under review by the school district's central office, started Monday. Abigail DuBearn, a member of the school's Educational Excellence School Advisory Committee, or EESAC, had asked Ravelo and other council members whether student representatives of the committee ``could be notified today and be invited to attend and participate'' at Monday's meeting.

Ravelo, 45, then replied to DuBearn's e-mail with the message: ``Advise her to eat sh-- and die.'' Ravelo spelled the swear word like it appears here -- without the last two letters.

Maria Orjeda, the school's reading coach, who spoke on behalf of Ravelo, said the principal meant to send the e-mail about DuBearn to her assistant principal, Ram�n Dawkins, instead of DuBearn.

DuBearn could not be reached for comment Thursday.

``Ms. Ravelo takes full responsibility for the mistake. She apologized to Mrs. DuBearn on Tuesday,'' Orjeda said.

The principal, who is still running the school, has been instructed not to speak with the media, Orjeda added.

Ravelo could not be reached for comment on Thursday.

Orjeda further said the tension between the parents and Ravelo stemmed from their battle for power since the principal's arrival nearly two years ago.

``Our PTA wants to control the school, which she hasn't given to them,'' Orjeda said. ``They want control of how the school building is painted, what's in the curriculum and the way teachers teach.''

Melissa Brown, president of the Coconut Grove Elementary PTA, disputed Orjeda's comments.

``That's ridiculous,'' Brown replied. ``This is about the e-mail. We are not interested in running the school. We want to work with the administration.''

Brown continued: ``No parent should be spoken to this way. It's unprofessional behavior. Parents want something to be done or they will take out their children.''

Meanwhile, Ravelo's e-mail has found its way to the in boxes of other parents at the school.

Now Brown and other parents have sent e-mails to Superintendent Alberto Carvalho and other officials asking them to replace Ravelo.

One parent, Liz Yamelo, wrote in an e-mail to The Miami Herald: ```Ms. Ravelo's e-mail reflects the tone of her leadership and the poverty of her intellectual thought. . . . I encourage the school board to take immediate action for her removal, and at the very least, severly reprimand and censure'' her.

The school district said the matter is under review.

``The superintendent and his cabinet have discussed the issue. We are looking into it to determine what steps will be taken next,'' said John Schuster, chief spokesman for the Miami-Dade County Public Schools.

A decision will be made in the next few days, he said.

Schuster said the incident was ``unfortunate'' because ``this principal has been an excellent administrator at this school and has a very good performance record.''

A school district employee since 1989, Ravelo has been the principal at Coconut Grove Elementary for nearly two years. Before that, she worked at Riverside Elementary.

Schuster said school administrators are expected to behave professionally.

``As public servants, we are all held to a high degree of professionalism. The behavior, as reported, is particularly unbecoming for a public employee,'' he said.

HEROIC CAT SAVES DAY-OLD KITTENS FROM FLOODING

Last week, a cat saved her three day-old kittens during the flooding that hit the area. Now, people at the shelter the cats were taken to are hoping someone is willing to adopt the miracle felines.

Now peacefully resting with her three babies, Victoria King of Holly's House animal shelter marvels at what the mother cat was able to to do.

"She was in the flood in Tyrone," said King. "And some people saw her going up and down a tree as the flood waters were coming up, saving her day-old kittens."

Residents say this mama took her babies, one by one, up a tree and keeping them in that tree, until the waters went down.

"These kittens are tiny," said King. "It was miraculous she was able to hold them."

The ladies at the shelter may name this mama "river", but for now, "Heroine" fits just fine. "I look at her and she is very small and probably not a full year old yet and she had this automatic instinct and she knew what to do," said King.

Nude Beggar With Panties On Head Arrested

BOULDER, Colo. -- A man who police said was naked except for a pair of woman's thong panties he was wearing on his head is the first person arrested under Boulder's new public nudity law.

Police said that Glenn Ford, 55, was standing nude on an offramp of Highway 36 during the Thursday afternoon rush hour. Officers located him at the Baseline Road exit, according to a police blotter.

Officers said Ford appeared to be intoxicated and refused to put on clothes he had stashed nearby. Officers tied a jacket around his waist before putting him in a patrol car, police said.

Ford, a known transient, was arrested on suspicion of violating Boulder's ordinance prohibiting public nudity. The new law carries a fine of up to $1,000 and/or 90 days in jail.

Ford was still in jail Friday, under a $250 bond.

JOKE: Doc, you've gotta help me! My wife isn't interested in sex anymore

Doc, you've gotta help me! My wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?"

"Look, I can't prescribe..."

"Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I'm desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You've got to help me."

The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental; the tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE."

"I don't know, doc. She's awfully cold."

"One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?"

"Um... Okay."

He thanks the doc and heads for home where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. In fumbling haste, pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife's coffee. He thinks for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful.

Then an inspiration strikes... He drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns and they enjoy their dessert and coffee. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look enters her eyes. In a near-whisper and in a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, "I need a man..."

His eyes glitter, and his hands tremble as he replies, "Me too!"