VIDEO: Empty pool but empty head too equals FAIL

JOKE: ONE LAST TIME

An old man went in to see the doctor and said, "Doc, I'm turning eighty tomorrow and I don't know how many more years I have left. My good wife died ten years ago and I've had no sex at all since then. I'd love to experience sex one more time before I die so I've hired a hooker for the night. Can you give me something that'll help me get it up?"

The doctor smiled. "I don't normally prescribe this stuff as it's extremely potent, but I think in your case I can make an exception for one night."

Later that night, out of curiosity, the doctor phoned the elderly man and asked, "How's it going?"

"Fabulous," the old man said, "I've come three times already."

"That's great," the doctor said. "The hooker must be astounded."

"Not exactly," the old man said. "She's not here yet!"

GOT CAPTION? 9/10

GOT CAPTION? 9/10 v.2.0

Arctic airships to dot Canadian skies, make cold-weather travel a breeze

Transporting supplies and personnel in the harsh North will get a little easier

Traveling through the colder parts of the world has always been a challenge. There are dangers inherent to almost all forms of arctic travel, and the unforgiving environment makes getting stranded especially dire. Those trekking through Canada's harsh north have had it especially rough due to climate changes that make the country's notoriously treacherous ice roads thinner and less reliable with each passing year. But thanks to renewed interest in airship technology, Canadians will soon have a new option for transporting people and goods around the icy territories.

Canadian aviation company Discovery Air is now teaming up with air vehicle manufacturer Hybrid Air Vehicles to form a fleet of 45 airships that will operate in the country's frigid North. The lighter-than-air vehicles use massive turbine engines for propulsion, and are capable of hauling 50 tons of cargo with ease.

The massive, futuristic airships will be used for transporting cargo and workers to various locations which can become inaccessible by any other means. The crafts are capable of traveling at a maximum speed of 104 knots, or roughly 120 miles per hour. Combine that with fuel consumption that is a fraction of a commercial cargo airliner, and Canada's new airships are economical, convenient, and green to boot.

VIDEO: Every 'Baby' and 'Crazy' Britney Spears Has Uttered

Britney Spears' entire career can evidently be boiled down to two words: "baby" and "crazy."

Such is the message behind YouTube user Evdex's 'Britney Crazy Baby,' a viral video (see below) that splices together, in chronological order, every single "baby" and "crazy" uttered over the course of Brit Brit's discography. That's 11 years' and seven albums' worth of mind-numbing repetition -- a 5:12 musical waterboarding that even Dick Cheney wouldn't approve for CIA interrogations.

On the website The Awl, readers have responded by sharing how much of the clip they've been able to stomach. One brave soul made it to 3:25, likely sacrificing his sanity in the process.

So far, the video has been viewed more than 99,600 times on YouTube. That number is bound to continue growing, and in time, the streets will become overrun with cross-eyed, drooling, pop-damaged zombies. So begins the Spear-ing of America. Crazy, baby!

VIDEO: 6'5" 220LB MAN BEATS DOWN A TEENAGE BOY! GRAPHIC!

VIDEO: Three Buddies Cruising the Hood.. 2 Dogs and a Pig

VIDEO: Spider Cat

VIDEO: Man uses dolphin in elaborate marriage proposal

A plucky romantic has raised the bar after riding up to his girlfriend on a dolphin during a marine show and popping the question. The man contacted the aquatic theme park in the eastern Chinese city of Qingdao months in advance and arranged to train with the dolphins and staff at the park to make his dramatic entrance.

On the big day the man's girlfriend was called to a stage by water's edge and watched in awe as her boyfriend emerged from the other end of the tank on the back of a dolphin. The marine mammal glided effortlessly through the water and dropped its passenger at his woman's side.

The unnamed man was then handed a large bouquet of roses which he gave to his partner, who by this time who had already begun to cry. He then got down on one knee and proposed, placing a ring on the woman's finger as delighted spectators looked on.

The newly anointed fiance was clearly overjoyed at having such a memorable proposal but said she was surprised because her boyfriend is not particularly outgoing. "I never expected him to propose in such an incredible way," the woman said.