►WHIRLED GNUS◄: Sep 15, 2011

Thursday, September 15, 2011

After being stranded on a desert island for many years, a man and his wife woke up following a bad storm to find a new guy washed up on the beach. The wife was immediately attracted to the new man although her husband was oblivious. "This is wonderful! Now the three of us can each do an 8-hour shift in the watchtower instead of the two of us each doing 12." The new man was happy to help and volunteered for the first shift. He climbed the tall tower and stood watch for hours, scanning the horizon for ships. Soon he had an idea. He yelled down, "Hey, no screwing!" The married couple was surprised by this but yelled back up to him, "We're not screwing." A few minutes later, the new guy yelled again, "Hey, no screwing!" And again, "We're not screwing." Shortly before his shift was over, he yelled down again, "Hey, no screwing!" They thought, this new guy is weird. When his shift was over, he climbed down from the tower and the husband climbed up. Before he got halfway to the top, the wife and the new guy were screwing each other's brains out. When the husband finally looked down, he thought, "I'll be danged. From up here, it really does look like they're screwing!"

GOT CAPTION? 9/16

GOT CAPTION? 9/16 v.2.0

Bodybuilder kills dog by throwing him out the window

A hotheaded Queens bodybuilder killed his dog by tossing it out of a third-floor window - then played dumb, telling cops he was asleep the whole time.

Milan Rysa, 30, hurled Brooklyn, a Chinese Shar-Pei weighing about 50 pounds, out of his apartment on Steinway St. in Astoria as he played thumping dance music about 8:30 p.m Monday, police and witnesses said.

"I saw it coming out the window," a shocked witness said, declining to give his name. "I heard the yelp when it hit the ground. I heard the thud. It just missed a woman."

Witnesses said Rysa looked out the window, saw a crowd gathering near Brooklyn's broken body, then shut off the music and the apartment's lights.

Cops, not sure what they would encounter inside the apartment, armed themselves with a battering ram and bulletproof shields, witnesses said.

But Rysa eventually opened the door and claimed he was just catching some shut-eye, a witness said. He was booked for aggravated animal cruelty and reckless endangerment, and taken to Elmhurst Hospital Center for a psychiatric evaluation.

His Facebook page abounds with shirtless, beefcake photos of himself. But it also includes an album called "My Lil Bad Boy" that shows Brooklyn as an adorable puppy.

Neighbors had no idea what prompted the heinous crime, but several said they had previously seen Rysa abuse the animal, keeping him in the public hallway outside his apartment, fenced in by a toddler gate.

Rysa also let Brooklyn relieve itself on the roof. He would fling the dog's feces onto nearby rooftops, then leave the dog unattended for hours, the hot rooftop burning his paws, one neighbor said.

"The poor thing wanted to play all the time," the neighbor said.