JOKE: Paddy and Mick

Paddy was passing by Mick's hay shed when he noticed Mick dancing a slow, sensual striptease before an old Massey-Ferguson tractor. Buttocks clenched, he did a slow pirouette, gently sliding along the right wheel well and then the left, hunching his shoulders, letting his suspenders slip from his shoulders. He then ripped open his plaid shirt and tossed it onto a pile of hay. "Jeezus, Mick!" yelled Paddy. "What're ya doin'?' "Oh, hey, Paddy. Ye frightened the livin' bejasus out of me," said the obviously embarrassed Mick. "Ya see, me and the missus been having a little trouble lately in the ol' bedroom department and the doctor suggested I do something sexy to a tractor!"

Got Caption ?? 10/31

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Man, 82, grows new tooth after having none for over 50 years

All John Giblin wants for Christmas is to get rid of his new front tooth. After more than 50 years without any teeth the 82-year-old was amazed when he discovered he had grown a new one at the front of his mouth. Retired postman Mr Giblin moved from London to Sommerville Close in Faversham two years ago for a quieter life. After eating too many sweets, all his teeth fell out in his 20s and he was fitted with dentures.

But a new tooth was lying in wait, and several months ago it decided to put in an appearance. "My dentures became incredibly uncomfortable, and started to cause me quite a bit of pain," said the poetry enthusiast. "Then I felt my gum and discovered something sharp. At first I thought it was a bit of my jaw bone poking through, never did I imagine it would be a new tooth."

A visit to the dentist and an X-ray later Mr Giblin was told he was the proud owner of a new incisor but is now due to have it removed. He said: "I'm still waiting for the damn thing to be taken out. It is all a bit embarrassing, especially as it is in the dead centre front of my mouth. I've never heard of anything like this before, I didn't even know it was possible.

"When I lost my teeth all that time ago, I certainly didn't think I would be growing a new one 50 years later. My family have joked that I'm going through my second childhood. The whole situation is extraordinary and the sooner it is removed the better. When I look in the mirror it is just there staring at me. If it isn't taken out soon I'll knock it out myself."

Man's Life Saved By His Insomnia

An Australian man has had a narrow escape after a car crashed into his bedroom wall, destroying the bed he had been lying on minutes before.

Demitrios Bisbelis, 31, got out of bed at 2am to work on his computer late at night shortly before a speeding car ploughed into his house in Melbourne and landed on his bed.

Police said that the car had hit something on the road, become airborne, and rammed through the house fence and its front wall. Two 52-year-old men, who were in the car at the time, suffered minor injuries.

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