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Female inmate uses spoon to dig out of prison

A convict in the Netherlands has succeeded in breaking out of prison with an escape worthy of the movies: She tunneled her way out with a spoon. Her secret tunnel began in a cellar and was concealed by a removable hatch.

The public prosecutor's office confirmed on Tuesday that the 35-year-old female prisoner had escaped through a tunnel from a prison in Breda in the southern Netherlands.

The spectacular prison break was made possible because the convict was no longer housed in a regular cell, but in a separate building on the grounds of the detention centre where long-term inmates are prepared for their release and are given more freedom.

The woman's tunnel began in a cellar under the building's kitchen, with its entrance concealed by a removable hatch. The police are assuming that the fugitive had at least one accomplice, who is believed to have loosened paving stones that were part of a sidewalk next to the detention centre, allowing the prisoner to emerge from her tunnel. The woman was serving time for murder and still had another 22 months of her sentence to go.

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID" ...

JOKE: A lawyer's dog steals a roast.

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely."
"Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today."

The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50 [attorneys don't carry cash--it's too plebeian--and the butcher hadn't brought the shop's credit card imprinter to the lawyer's office].

Several periods of time later--it could be the next day but that would be unrealistic--the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $20 due for a consultation.