►WHIRLED GNUS◄: May 29, 2011

Sunday, May 29, 2011

If These People Were Jewish, This is What Their Mothers Would Say

MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"This you call a smile, after all the money your father and I spent on

braces?"

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:

"I don't care what you've discovered, you still should have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Why can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you know how hard

it is to get this junk off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"All right, if you're not hiding your report card inside your jacket,

take your hand out of there and show me!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Again with the hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other

kids?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss

your allowance good-bye!"

THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now

turn it off and go to sleep!"

PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man,midnight is long

past your curfew!"

And then these two, who really did have Jewish mothers:

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"But it's your senior photograph! Couldn't you have done something

about your hair?"

MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:

"That's a good story! Now tell me where you've really been for the last

forty years."

Chinese prisoners forced to play World of Warcraft to make money for guards

It's a common practice for Chinese labor camps to force prisoners to bust boulders and dig ditches, but a former inmate has recently come forward to shed some light on a little-known practice that goes on behind the scenes: virtual labor. Liu Dali spent three years in one such labor camp, and claims that after a hard day's work was completed, he and up to 300 of his fellow detainees were forced to make virtual money in online games like World of Warcraft, for the benefit of prison guards.

The guards would then use the virtual cash for their own means, including trading it for real-world money. Dali claims he overheard guards bragging that they could make close to $1,000 a day off of the efforts of the inmates, none of which ever made its way into the hands of the workers. He also claims that certain quotas were set, and that those who didn't raise enough virtual cash would be physically beaten.

Raising large amounts of credit in online games through the use of multiple accounts and individuals is known as "gold farming." The practice is typically frowned upon due to the nature of the work and the fact that those involved are usually paid very little. The problem is especially widespread in China, where the government was forced to ban the practice in 2009, though it continues to be an issue to this day. Chinese officials have denied the allegations, and insist that because playing an online game would constitute "contact with the outside world," prisoners would never be allowed to engage in such activity.

Girl Shoots Dad with Arrow For Taking Away Her Cellphone

A 15-YEAR-OLD Washington girl angered when her father took away her mobile phone shot him in the torso with a hunting bow and arrow, then refused to let him use the phone to call for help.

The unidentified 35-year-old man, who crawled to a neighbor's home to phone 911, was flown to a hospital in a serious condition, KOMO-TV in Seattle reported overnight.

The girl, armed with the bow and at least 35 arrows, fled into a nearby woods following the incident yesterday, but was later taken into custody by a SWAT team.

After she was apprehended, the girl was found to be despondent with a serious medical issue, KOMO said, citing a sheriff's spokesman.

The father took away the mobile phone as a disciplinary measure, the spokesman said.

Tahuya is about 40km southwest of Seattle.