JOKE: Old Lady Dogsitting

An elderly spinster who was a dog lover agreed to look after and house her neighbors dog while the neighbors went on their trip. The only problem was that the spinster's own dog was a bitch that was in 'heat' and the neighbour's dog was a male. Nevertheless she had a large house and she was able to keep the two dogs apart.

As she lay in her bed drifting off to sleep the spinster was suddenly awakened by awful howling and moaning sounds from downstairs. She rushed downstairs to find the dogs locked together, as dogs do when mating. The dogs were in obvious pain howling but unable to disengage. Try as she might she could not part them and she was perplexed as what to do next. Though it was late she reluctantly phoned the vet and after a few rings a rather grumpy voice of the vet answered the phone. The spinster explained the problem.

The vet said, "I want you to take the phone to the dogs and place it down alongside them. I will then phone your number back and the noise of the telephone ringing should make the male dog lose his erection and be able to withdraw from the bitch."

"Oh," said the spinster, "Do you think that will work?"

"Well," the vet replied, "IT JUST WORKED ON ME!"

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Mountain lion trapped up tree by Jack Russell terrier

A mountain lion found it was no match for a Jack Russell terrier which trapped it up a tree on a farm in South Dakota. The dog's owner, Chad Strenge, heard frantic barking near the family's farm in Colman, Moody County.

He discovered the 150lb male lion, also known as a cougar, clinging to the top of a tree with 17lb terrier Jack at the bottom. Mr Strenge, helped by his dog, chased the mountain lion and shot it dead. "He trees cats all the time," Mr Strenge said. "I suppose he figured it was just a cat."

Professor Jonathan Jenks, an expert on cougar migration, said hunters usually needed two or three hounds to chase a lion up a tree. He said the cougar was probably not hungry enough to attack Jack. "It very well could have lost a territory and decided to take off from the Black Hills and head this way," he said.

Arden Petersen, of the South Dakota Game, Fish and Parks department, told said that no charges would be filed for shooting the animal. People in South Dakota have the right to kill mountain lions which they feel are a threat to themselves, their livestock or their pets. The lion was taken to South Dakota State University, where it will be studied.

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VIDEO: Guillaume Nery base jumping at Dean's Blue Hole

FREE FALL: World champion freediver Guillaume Nery special dive at Dean's Blue Hole, the deepest blue hole in the world filmed entirely on breath hold by the french champion Julie Gautier. This video is a FICTION and an ARTISTIC PROJECT. Edited by BLUENERY (c). Music: ARCHIVE - you make me feel.

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the androgynous Andrej Pejic