JOKE: A Newfie was going to Toronto on the Airplane

A Newfie was going to Toronto on the Airplane and started talking
to an Mainlander.

Newfie: Lord Tundrin' Geeses Bye, What do you do for a livin'?
Mainlander: Well, I'm a Psychoanalyst.
Newfie: Psychoanalyst, What the Heck is that?
Mainlander: It's hard to explain so I'll give you an example.

Mainlander: Do you own a Fishtank?
Newfie: Yes, I got a tank.
Mainlander: Well, I bet you like fish then?
Newfie: Yeah, I like fish.
Mainlander: Well, if you like fish then you probably like the water.
Newfie: Yeah, I love the water.
Mainlander: Well, if you like the water, then you probably like to
go to the beach.
Newfie: I love to go the beach.
Mainlander: I bet you like to look at girls in bikinis while you're
at the beach.
Newfie: You betcha.
Mainlander: And as you're looking at girls on the beach I bet you think
about taking them home and having your way with them.
Newfie: Gosh, How did you know that?
Mainlander: Well, that's what a Psychoanalyst is.
Newfie: Oh.

The Newfie was goin back to St. John's and started to talk to another
Mainlander on the plane.

Newfie: Hi, How ya doin?
Mainlander: Oh, fine I guess.
Newfie: I'm a Psychoanalyst.
Mainlander: You're a Psychoanalyst?
Newfie: Yeah, let me explain it to ya.

Newfie: Do you own a fishtank?
Mainlander: No.
Newfie: What are ya!? Some kind of faggot?

TOUGH NAME

VIDEO: Weatherman "Attacked" By Pelican LOL

Farter Gets Canned

A warehouse worker has been sacked for excessive farting. Daniel Cambridge, 27, was dismissed from Waterstones' warehouse after 35 complaints to management about him breaking wind.

Daniel insists his flatulence problem is a common side-effect of the antidepressant Citalopram, which he has been taking for the past three weeks. He has even highlighted that fact in the manufacturer's leaflet that comes with the prescription drug.

Daniel said: "I'm really annoyed. I can't believe I've been dismissed for passing wind. I know I'm not going to get my job back and I really liked it.

"I could understand them getting rid of me for fighting or something, but for passing wind is ridiculous. To me it's like having a disability and you wouldn't get rid of somebody with one arm or leg."

Daniel had worked at the warehouse in the Centrum 100 Business Park, Burton-upon-Trent, Staffs, since September. He got the job through employment agency Unipart. He added: "I had a call on Wednesday from Unipart telling me not to go to work because of my passing wind in the warehouse. Apparently there had been 35 complaints over two days from people who work there.

"The lady at the agency had it in an email that I was being dismissed because of my passing wind. That I was walking past people and breaking wind. It's not on, being sacked for that."

JOKE: A bosun mate and a gunny sergeant were sitting arguing

A bosun mate and a gunny sergeant were sitting on the fantail one day arguing over which was the superior service.
After a swig of coffee the Marine says, 'Well, we had Iwo Jima.'

Arching his eyebrows, the Sailor replies, 'We had the Battle of Midway.

'Not entirely true', responded the Marine. 'Some of those pilots were Marines, in fact, Henderson Field on Guadalcanal was named after a Marine pilot killed at the Battle of Midway.'

The Sailor responds, 'Point taken.'

The Marine then says, 'We Marines were born at Tunn Tavern!'

The sailor, nodding agreement, says, 'But we had John Paul Jones.'

The argument continued until the old sarge comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says...... 'The Marines invented sex!'

The bosun replies, 'That is true, but it was Sailors who introduced it to the ladies.'