Friday, April 30, 2010

Police charge woman with having sex with horse

CLYMER - An Indiana County woman has been charged with having sex with a horse, state police at Indiana said Tuesday.

Dovie Lee Kerner, 46, of Plumville also allegedly had sex with other animals including a dog and a pig, court documents state.

The investigation began in November 2008 when it was reported by two officials from the Humane Society of Indiana County, police said.

One of the officials said she received a phone call from a confidential informant who asked her if it was illegal to have sex with an animal. When told yes, the informant said he had a video on his cell phone of Kerner having sex with a horse, court documents state.

Because of Kerner's alleged sexual activities with other men and animals, the informant, who had dated the woman, and his Jack Russell terrier both contracted sexually transmitted diseases, court documents state.

Kerner is charged with two counts each of obscene and other sexual materials and performances and disorderly conduct and one count of sexual intercourse with an animal.

The charges were filed before Magisterial District Judge George Thachik. No preliminary hearing date has been set, according to online court records.

ack,omg

Man brings dead wife to police

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A man accused of driving his wife's corpse to Phoenix police headquarters after he stabbed the woman to death over their pending separation had struggled with her in a past incident where she threatened him with a kitchen knife, court records show.

Dwight Wesley, 58, reported the murder to police late Wednesday when he appeared, covered in blood and a knife in hand, in the lobby of headquarters at 620 W. Washington St., according to police.


Officers initially thought he was a victim, but later discovered the woman's body in his car parked near the station.

Delores Glover, 46, died from multiple stab wounds, Phoenix police Sgt. Tommy Thompson said.

Phoenix firefighters tried to revive Glover but were unsuccessful. Wesley was booked on suspicion of murder.

Glover was driving Wesley to work when she told him she was divorcing him. Investigators said he became upset and fatally-stabbed her during an argument.

The victim has eight felony convictions since 1985, including aggravated assault and dangerous drugs, according to Maricopa County Superior Court records.

In 2007, she threatened Wesley with a knife in their home on Indian School Road. She was arrested and later convicted of possession of methamphetamine. The couple had been living together for about three months at the time, according to records.

Glover served three years of a five-year sentence for aggravated assault and possession of dangerous drugs before she was released from the Arizona Department of Corrections in 2007.

Penis Size and Speeding Tickets: A Sizable Correlation

Wyoming has the highest rate of speeding tickets issued. According to Condomania's database of 27,000 custom-fit condom sales, Wyoming also has the smallest average penis size. Coincidence? I think not. More fun facts below.

The Need for Speed

VIDEO: Tom Waits - "God's Away On Business"

God's Away On Business
(Tom Waits/Kathleen Brennan 2000)

I'd sell your heart to the junkman baby
For a buck, for a buck
If you're looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch
You're out of luck, you're out of luck

Ship is sinking
The ship is sinking
The ship is sinking

There's a leak, there's a leak in the boiler room
The poor, the lame, the blind
Who are the ones that we kept in charge?
Killers, thieves and lawyers

God's away, God's away
God's away on business, business
God's away, God's away
God's away on business, business

Digging up the dead with a shovel and a pick
It's a job, it's a job
Bloody moon rising with a plague and a flood
Join the mob, join the mob
It's all over, it's all over
It's all over

There's a leak, there's a leak in the boiler room
The poor, the lame, the blind
Who are the ones that we kept in charge?
Killers, thieves and lawyers

God's away, God's away
God's away on business, business
God's away, God's away on business, business

Godddamn there's always such a big temptation
To be good, to be good
There's always free cheddar in a mousetrap, baby
It's a deal, it's a deal

God's away, God's away
God's away on business, business
God's away, God's away
God's away on business, business

I narrow my eyes like a coin slot baby
Let her ring, let her ring

God's away, God's away
God's away on business, business
God's away, God's away
God's away on business, business

VIDEO: Obama Attends The White House Maintenance Staff Annual Dinner

Plane Hits Car..Couple Escape Uninjured

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Ken and Carol Marcoux like to watch planes land and take off at Boulder Colorado Municipal Airport, and Wednesday morning was no different for the Gunbarrel couple.

As they pulled their Toyota Prius over to the side of Independence Road to catch a tow plane and glider take to a beautiful blue sky, they spotted a small plane coming in from the east.

"He seemed to have real trouble controlling the plane," Ken Marcoux said.

Strong crosswinds were jostling the plane, Marcoux said, and the aircraft slammed onto the runway, bounced and veered "like it was on a turntable" 45 degrees to the north.

What happened next -- shortly before noon -- would put the couple at the center of a dramatic hit-and-run and prompt a Federal Aviation Administration investigation into the single-engine Beechcraft Bonanza crash and its pilot.

To the couple's horror, the plane -- whose pilot was later identified as Joe Curtis, 67, of Commerce City -- was pointed right at their car and approaching at what Marcoux estimated was 100 mph. Carol Marcoux screamed "Ken!" and her husband stepped on the gas, moving the Prius forward just enough to spare them a potentially fatal hit.

Carol Marcoux said she heard "a big sound of glass breaking" as the right wingtip of the plane slammed into the back of the car -- shattering the rear passenger window and denting the rear quarter panel -- just inches behind her head.

"It's amazing," Carol Marcoux said. "I'm very grateful that I wasn't decapitated."


The plane continued across the road and hit a utility pole, shearing off most of its left wing.

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When the Beechcraft finally came to a rest in a field 100 yards north of the airport, Ken Marcoux said he watched the pilot get out, grab a big black satchel and run back toward the airport.

"As soon as he stopped, he couldn't wait to get out of that plane," he said.

Another pilot on the airfield tried to get his attention, but he kept running, Marcoux said.

"It's peculiar, and a bit bizarre," said Boulder sheriff's Sgt. Mike Dimond, as a bloodhound trotted with a deputy toward the plane to make an olfactory inspection of the stilled aircraft. "This is my first call of this nature."

A few hours later, Curtis -- who did not appear to be hurt -- contacted the FAA, authorities said, and met with an investigator in the parking lot of a glider business a quarter-mile from the crash site.

He refused to respond to a reporter asking for comment as he got into a red pickup truck with a trailer attached and drove off.

Christopher Lang, the primary operations inspector for the FAA who met with Curtis on Wednesday, wouldn't say anything about the collision beyond calling it an "accident."

Mike Fergus, an FAA spokesman with the agency's Northwest Mountain regional headquarters, said an investigation is under way and declined to talk about whether Curtis could be cited for leaving the scene of an accident.

All other agencies involved in Wednesday's collision -- the Sheriff's Office, the Colorado State Patrol and the National Transportation Safety Board -- referred questions about potential criminal charges to the FAA.

Nothing has been disclosed as to where Curtis went during the hours he was missing. Authorities did say he had a rented hangar at Boulder Municipal Airport and fueled his plane there Wednesday morning.

Independence Road was littered with debris from the crash late into the day, with the Beechcraft's right wingtip lying on the north side of the road and half of its other wing smashed up against the utility pole.

The plane also took out a speed limit sign and lay it on its side.

Ken Marcoux said he couldn't help but wonder what was in Curtis' black bag and why he was in such a hurry.

Despite the close call, Marcoux was still able to find humor in the nearly cataclysmic moment, which he playfully labeled a "fly and run."

"That was one time a Prius is not the best car to be in," he said, noting that a more powerful sports car might have given the couple a faster jump and a better margin of safety.

Flea infestation shuts down Ohio health department

buginsect,fly,bug,insect

LANCASTER, Ohio (AP) -- A county health department in Ohio has closed because of a hygiene issue under its own roof: an infestation of fleas.

Officials with the Fairfield County Department of Health said Wednesday that its offices would be shut down through the weekend so the building can be cleaned thoroughly and fogged with insecticide.

Fleas can transmit disease, but county Health Commissioner Frank Hirsch says he does not believe the bugs have posed a health risk at the department in Lancaster, about 30 miles southeast of Columbus. He says they've mostly been an annoyance for his employees and have been a recurring problem for years.

Several public programs scheduled at the building this week have been postponed until Monday.

JOKE: It was a pretty serious auto accident

It was a pretty serious auto accident. Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt, Sean smashed his face into the windshield. In a strange twist of fate, he wasn't seriously injured, but the cracked glass pinched his right eyelid and, when he bounced back, ripped the eyelid off. Unfortunately, the tissue wasn't saved for reattachment.

At the hospital, plastic surgeons weren't sure how to repair it. Skin grafts wouldn't do the trick, since plain skin isn't thick enough for the job. Then one of the surgeons noticed Sean wasn't circumcised. The thick, elastic skin there would be just the ticket!

Sure enough, the operation was a success and the new eyelid works just as intended. But the TRUE measure of success in any plastic surgery is: how does it LOOK? It's not *quite* perfect, doctors say -- while it works perfectly, Sean will forever be a little cockeyed.


hahahahahaha gif

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