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A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down, and his fly wide open.   A lady cashier walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open."   This is not a phrase men normally use, so he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.   When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open." He zipped up and finished his shopping, and remembering what the cashier had told him, finally understood.   He then intentionally got in the line to check out where the lady was that told him about his "barracks door." He was planning to have a little fun with her. When he reached her counter he said, "When you saw my barracks door open did you see a soldier standing in there at attention?"   The lady thought for a moment and said, "No, no I didn't. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags." 

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Scrap-metal eater, 80, retires after choking while eating bicycle pedal

A metal-munching stuntman who has eaten his way through tons of scrap is retiring after he nearly died when he bit off more than even he can chew. Branko Crnogorac, 80, has left audiences open-mouthed as he downed 25,000 light bulbs, 12,000 forks, 2,000 spoons, 2,600 plates and nearly 6,000 old vinyl records in his 60-year career.

The resident of Apatin, Serbia, quit after choking on a pedal when his friends bet him he could not eat his whole bike within three days. "I almost died. I needed emergency surgery. At the same time, doctors found two kilogrammes of assorted ironware in my stomach, including two gold rings," he explained.

Crnogorac added: "It was a wake-up call for me. Since then, I just haven't had the same desire to munch metal. After 20 years of eating everything, I've realised my digestive system is not as strong as it used to be, so I've decided to retire."

His bizarre career started when a friend recommended he should start eating sand to combat an acid stomach. "It worked and I thought why not try something else and one thing led to another," he said.