JOKE: A father, son and grandson went to the country club

A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.

She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she could join them.

Naturally, the guys all agreed.

Smiling,the blonde thanked them and said, 'Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But, I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to play my shots.'

With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first.

All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.

The father's mouth was agape. 'That was beautiful,' he said.

The blonde put her driver away and said, 'I really didn't get into it, and I faded it a little.'

After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole. (She was closest to the pin.)

The son said, 'Damn, lady, you played that perfectly.'

The blonde frowned and said, 'It was a little weak, but even an easy seven would have been too much club. I've left a tricky little putt.' She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.

Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole, knocked the heck out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in the middle of the fairway.

For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.

When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.

She turned to the three guys and said, 'I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this course.

If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single Malt Strath Mill Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a very good time the rest of the night.'

The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green, carefully eyeing the line of the putt and finally said, 'Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup.'

The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb. 'Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup.'

The old gray-haired grandfather walked over to the blonde's ball, picked it up and handed it to her and said, 'That's a gimme, sweetheart.'

The blonde smiled and said, 'Your car or mine?'

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VIDEO: Riding a Horse to McDonald's for a Big Mac

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Woman Shot Boy Who Broke All Her Windows

Woman who shot 12-year-old won't face charges, but boy will

Chicago police investigate the scene where a 12-year-old boy was shot by a 68-year-old woman after he and a 13-year-old boy allegedly threw bricks at her.

Chicago police Wednesday say no charges will be filed against a 68-year-old woman who shot a 12-year-old boy after he and a 13-year-old friend went to her South Shore home, and shouted obscenities and threw bricks at her.

The boys, however, have been charged as juveniles with aggravated assault of a person over the age of 60 and have been released to their parents, police said.

Police said the woman, who lives alone, acted in self-defense -- a belief shared by neighbors who said the woman known as "Miss Margaret" had been harassed by the boys before and had called police to no avail.

"She talked to me on Friday," Frenchie Johnson told reporters. "She said, 'Frenchie I've done had enough.' They set the garbage can on fire, her barbecue pit, this isn't the first time they busted a window. It's bad."

Late Tuesday afternoon, the woman returned to her home in the 7600 block of South Coles Avenue from grocery shopping and noticed all the windows broken, according to police. The woman then saw two boys running away.

The woman called police and was putting away her groceries when the boys showed up again, authorities said.

The woman walked out onto the porch and the boys began shouting obscenities and throwing bricks at her, authorities said. The woman then pulled out a gun and opened fire, striking one of the boys in the shoulder, authorities said.

The boy was treated at the University of Chicago Comer Children's Hospital, and he and the 13-year-old were then charged with aggravated assault.

The 12-year-old's grandmother said he and his friend were just walking by the home when they were shot for no reason.

"He and his friend were walking down the street," Donna Virges told reporters. "And they saw a window broken at a woman's house, and as they passed by, they said she came out shooting."

"I hope they took her to jail, I hope so, something's wrong with her," she added.

Some neighbors also questioned the shooting.

"I think that's crazy, a lady would shoot at a child," Dominique Ward said. "How can you fix yourself to shoot at a 12-year-old?"

But most neighbors rallied around the woman, some saying they would have done the same thing because police are slow to respond to their complaints about vandalism.

"She was being protective of herself," said a man who lives next door. "What they did was wrong. Especially with her being an older woman."

The neighbor said someone vandalized his family's property about a week ago and broke out a window. "We just ran outside and that scared them off."

"I wouldn't have pulled out a weapon," he said. "But I'm glad [she] wasn't charged. She probably thought they were (going to) come in her house next. She was only protecting herself."

Other neighbors said the 12-year-old is well-known on the block.

"His name? As far as I know him, I call him the little bad boy," said Hilda Brunt.

VIDEO: Dad's Old Motorcycle

This is quite touching.

Brothers, Jeff and Jason Ledellaytner 'stole' their father's beloved 1969 Norton Commando, had it restored, then gave it back to him for Christmas.