JOKE: dreaming numbers

I was walking down the street the other day when I saw my buddy Matt. I walked up to him and mentioned that I had the most bizarre dream the night before last. Matt listened intently as I told him that the dream consisted of one thing and one thing only. So I told him that all I had dreamt about was a huge glowing number "5." It was made of gold and sparkled with diamonds.

Matt's curiosity was peaked. I went on to say that the first thing that I did in the morning was to grab the daily racing digest and look up the fifth race.

Matt raised an eyebrow. So I told him that the #5 horse in the fifth race was named "The Fifth Element." Matt started grinning. Then I told Matt point-by-point what I did that day.

- I ate five bowls of cereal for breakfast and drank five cups of coffee

- I went for a five mile jog to clear my head

- I took a five minute shower

- I dressed in the fifth suit I found in my closet

- I sat in my car for five minutes before starting it up

- I drove to the racetrack and parked in the fifth stall in the fifth row

- I entered through the fifth admissions gate

- I bought five programs

- I went to the fifth betting window and bet $555 on the fifth horse in the fifth race

- I went and sat in the fifth row of the bleachers making sure there were five people sitting on either side of me.

I settled in and waited for the race to start.

"Well," said Matt. "Did the horse win?"

I frowned at Matt and said, "Stupid horse came in fifth."

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VIDEO: Elephant rampage causes terror in Indian city

Two wild elephants have killed a man after rampaging through the streets of the southern Indian city of Mysore, in the state of Karnataka.

One of the elephants charged into a cow and smashed a car before goring and trampling a security guard to death in Mysore, Karnataka state.

Local people managed to trap one of the animals inside a farm and tranquilize the other.

Several people were injured by the stampeding animals, which locals said were provoked into a frenzy by terrified townspeople throwing stones at the animal.

SA Ramdas, higher education minister, said that schools were closed on Wednesday and extra police had been deployed as a precaution.

Hundreds of people die in India every year when wild animals wander into cities as their habitats shrink and they have to range farther for food.

Two killed by flying black bear in freak accident

A young Ottawa woman and her friend were killed on Monday night in a bizarre collision involving two vehicles and a bear on Highway 148 in the Pontiac. Police say a vehicle travelling eastbound near Luskville, Que. hit the 300-pound black bear at about 10:30, sending the animal into the opposite lane.

The bear was then struck by an oncoming car, sending the animal through the windshield and out the back window. "Add the weight of the bear, about a 300-pound bear, plus the speed of the vehicle, it's a deadly impact," said Const. Martin Fournel, spokesperson for MRC-des-Collines-de-l'Outaouais.

The two occupants of the first car escaped injury. However, two people in the second vehicle were killed instantly - those victims have been identified as a 25-year-old female driver from Ottawa and her friend, 40-year-old Steven Leon from Gatineau, who was riding in the back seat. The bear was also killed.

The woman's boyfriend, a 28-year-old man from the Pontiac-area, was sitting in the front passenger seat at the time of the collision. He was taken to hospital in Hull to be treated for not life-threatening upper body injuries. The woman's name will not be released at the request of her family. Police say the crash is extremely unusual, and investigators believe it's the first time a person in the area has died in a collision involving a bear.

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