JOKE: My wife..I think I'll keep her

A man, sitting at home alone, heard a knock on the door. He opened it to find two sheriff's deputies. One deputy asked, "Sir, are you married?" "Yes, I am, officer. Why?" "Do you have a photograph of your wife?" "Yeah." He grabbed a photo off the mantle. The deputy said, "I'm sorry, sir, but it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck." The guy replied, "I know, but she's an excellent cook, and the kids seem to like her!

GOT CAPTION? 7/14

GOT CAPTION? 7/14 v.2.0

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Man's 1,000 mile hike to win bride

A Chinese Proclaimers fan got more than she bargained for when she jokingly told her boyfriend she would only marry him if he walked 1,000 miles.

Ling Hsueh, 23, made the comment in reference to the Scottish duo's song 500 Miles after Liu Peiwen, 29, proposed to her.

The chorus goes: "But I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked a thousand miles, to fall down at your door."

But before Ling got around to telling Liu that she was only joking, he had bought a rucksack and set off from Henan province on the marathon hike.

He said: "The distance from here to her hometown in the Guangdong province, in southeastern China, is 1,600 kilometers - which is exactly 1,000 miles.

"When I get there I hope she is waiting for me and I will ask her again - and I hope she says yes."

Ling told local media: "He's such a fruitcake. I would have married him anyway and was only joking when I said he had to walk a 1,000 miles."

She added: "He was already on the way when I realized."

The trip is expected to take six weeks and Liu added: "I love walking and always wanted to see more of the country - but my love was the final push I needed to set off."

got your ears on?

Woman's leg is cut off by falling sheet of glass

A 19-year-old woman's lower leg was cut off by a shard of falling glass from a commercial building yesterday in Hangzhou City, capital of east China's Zhejiang Province.

The woman, Zhu Yiyi, was reported in stable condition but faced the likely permanent loss of part of her left leg. The blood vessels and nerves were seriously damaged and "almost impossible" to be reattached, said Wang Jialing, deputy of the Sir Run Run Shaw Hospital.

Zhu remained in a coma in the intensive care unit after four hours of surgery.

A 1-meter-long sheet of glass hit Zhu from behind on her knee as she and a co-worker walked near the 23-story Qingchun Development Building about 8:30am, her co-worker surnamed Wang said.

Wang escaped with only minor injuries.

Wang said the two were on their way to work at a nearby steel company.

Zhu, a native of east China's Jiangxi Province, has worked for one year in the company and was often praised as being diligent.

A witness surnamed Tian said, "I heard a boom and saw her lying in blood, fainted. I could see her white bones."

The piece of falling glass may have been one pane of a double-paned window on the 21st floor of the building, said the building's Binjiang Property Management Co.

Some witnesses said the window had recently been changed.

A company spokesman surnamed Shao said workers checked and maintained the windows, which were installed nearly five years ago, every month.

He denied the company was responsible for the accident, saying the floor was a private area belonging to a new tenant, a paper-making company, reported Zjol.com.cn, a local news website portal.

Shao said the company will corporate with the police investigation and has covered medical bills for Zhu so far.

A spokesman for the paper-making company said the firm had just moved into the building and did not know why the accident occurred.

VIDEO: Hunt for lake monster finds lame duck

Attempts to catch a "lake monster" live on Australian TV show TODAY took an awkward turn when resident fishing expert Paul Burt reeled in a duck instead.

Evandale Lake, on the Gold Coast, has been closed to swimmers after a member of the public reported seeing a fin, possibly belonging to a shark, cutting through the water last weekend.

Burt was poised on the saltwater lake, which feeds into the Nerang River, hoping to land the supposed predator on live television. But when his anti-climactic catch was pulled along the surface, Burt urged the TODAY studio to take the cameras off him. "I got a bird! I got a bird!" Burt said. "I'd go to another shot."

Burt said later the duck has recovered from the unfortunate turn of events. "It flew into the line and got entangled but it freed itself," he said. "It flew away with the rest of the ducks and lived happily ever after."

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