►WHIRLED GNUS◄: Sep 1, 2011

Thursday, September 1, 2011

This happened in Dallas a couple of days ago. Two identical yellow camaros each piloted by a woman ran into each other.

JOKE: LA NEW MATH TEST

LA Schools are finally starting to teach practical math that these kids can use in real-world situations!

NAME____________________

GANG/CREW NAME______________

CRIB_________________

01. Lajames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive- by shootin. How manymofos can Lajames ice on a drive- by before he gotta reload?

02. Leroy has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for$320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his shit?

03. Dwayne pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne's $800 per day Crack habit?

04. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to gets the20% upside?

05. Ray-Ray gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for stealing a Corvette,and $1000 for a 4 x 4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his brother's bail?

06. Pedro got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money pe r month, how much money will be left when he gets out?

07. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with three 8 oz. Cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?

08. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There be 20 girls in his gang. What be the percentage of bitches Tyrone knocked up?

09. Lafawnda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawnda also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 5 rats per week and a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawnda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week's income?

10. Rafael steals Juan's skateboard. As Rafael skates away at 15mph,Juan loads his 357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Rafael be when he gets whacked?

GOT CAPTION? 9/02

GOT CAPTION? 9/02 v.2.0

New Mexico State cop who had sex on duty won't face charges

A uniformed on-duty New Mexico state police officer who was caught on camera having sex with a woman on a car hood, embarrassing his department, will not face criminal charges, police said on Thursday.

"At this time we don't believe that any criminal acts occurred," New Mexico State Police Sgt. Tim Johnson said in a statement.

He said the officer involved in the encounter was currently on paid administrative leave and that the case was still "in the disciplinary process" in the department.

Johnson told Reuters that after speaking with the woman, investigators decided the trooper hadn't broken any laws.

"This officer made a horrible personal decision that will obviously reflect poorly on the whole organization," he said.

"The New Mexico State Police is very embarrassed by this incident and will work tirelessly to restore our good name and earn the trust of the citizens back," he added.

Johnson declined to identify the officer. The Santa Fe New Mexican newspaper reported that the officer had received accolades for his police work prior to the incident.

Photos of the encounter, which took place in July or August near the entrance to a county-owned ranch south of Santa Fe, surfaced on Monday on the Internet.

The Santa Fe County Sheriff's Department turned the photos, taken by a security camera, over to the state police.

Arizona Mother, Blew Marijuana Smoke In Her Infant's Mouth To Calm Her Down

A 21-year-old mother was arrested by Gilbert, Az., Police on Saturday after she allegedly tried to calm her infant daughter by blowing marijuana smoke in the girl's mouth.

Witness footage allegedly shows Jessica Callaway on Friday telling her 10-month-old to, "shut the f*** up before I kick you in the mouth," as she repeatedly hits the baby to get her to stop crying, The Arizona Republic reported.

Callaway, whose Facebook page is "loaded with postings about pot and parties," according to ABC-15, told police that she was frustrated because she was "having trouble finding an outfit to wear out that night."

Police said that Callaway later confessed to hitting her daughter and explained to authorities that she was "having a bad day."

Callaway's friend allegedly told cops that the young mother also blew weed smoke directly into her daughter's mouth to try to relax the child and stop her weeping.

"The friend noted the baby seemed thirsty after ingesting some of the weed," according to the Phoenix New Times.

Callaway was released from jail on $2,700 bond and now faces three counts of child abuse. She is scheduled to appear in court on Thursday.

VIDEO: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/31/jessica-callaway-arrested-weed_n_943155.html#s346004&title=Joshua_Greene

Massachusetts woman faces drunk driving charges after beer pours out of glove compartment

A woman was arrested on drunken driving charges for the second time in six months after an officer noticed beer pouring out of the glove compartment of her car, police said.

The woman said the beer was a gift from a friend for completing a court-ordered alcohol-treatment program after her first arrest, police said. She told the arresting officers she shoved it in the glove box when she saw the blue flashing lights behind her.

Arrested was Kaitlin M. Rymaszewski, 22, of 1182 Nantasket Ave in Hull. Rymaszewski was accused of drunken driving in March, but a judge continued the case without a finding in April and ordered her into the alcoholic treatment program.

She was arrested again on Friday night in Hingham and was arraigned Monday in Hingham District Court. She is due back in court on Sept. 26 on charges of second-offense drunken driving, driving to endanger, driving with an open container of alcohol, speeding and violating marked lanes.