VIDEO: GREAT PRANK

the New 2010 Beefcake Calendar

NEW 2010 CALENDAR

ty jim

VIDEO: DOG CALMS CRYING BABY

Polish burglar mailed himself to victims

Police in Poland have arrested a man for a series of raids in which he allegedly climbed into large parcels and posted himself to businesses.

Stanislaw Muchy, 39, would then apparently climb out at night after staff had clocked off and burgle the premises.

He made his getaway by sealing both himself and his loot into another box addressed to his Warsaw home, say police.

His scheme came to an end after he fell out with an accomplice, whose job was to deliver him to courier firms, who contacted police. After being tipped off, police said: "We arranged a special delivery of our own."

Postmen boycott house because they are scared of 19-year-old cat

Postmen are refusing to deliver letters to a house because they are terrified of one of the residents - an elderly cat.
Old Tiger, is terrorizing delivery men in Leeds to such an extent that they are now refusing to go anywhere near his cat door.

Royal Mail say the 19-year-old black and white cat, who spends most of his day napping, has attacked three postmen in the past few weeks.

Owner Tracy Brayshaw, of Farsley, Leeds,England said the postmen have complained that Tiger stalks his cat door waiting for them to deliver letters and is ready to pounce and chase them down the garden path.

Mrs Brayshaw, 43, branded the move 'ridiculous' and said she now has to trek to her local sorting office for her post because Tiger is deemed a health and safety risk.

She said: 'If Tiger climbs up a tree, he is done in for the rest of the week. I find it really hard to believe.

'The post has been suspended for two weeks now. It was funny at first but it is going a bit far now.

'This is an old age cat who gets dressed up as Santa each year - he wouldn't have the energy to attack postmen.'

The pharmacy dispenser added: 'I do think they have been a bit unfair, they have taken health and safety too far - we don't have a lion or a Rottweiler, this is a 19-year-old cat.

'We've had him since he was a kitten when he wandered in off the street. He has never done anything like what they say he has done before.'

She added that, according to a letter from the Royal Mail, the neutered tomcat has attacked three different postmen on three different occasions, including chasing one down the garden path.

'When I went to the post office to collect my mail, the person behind the counter told me that Tiger had lacerated a postman's arm but when I asked to see pictures of the wound they didn't have any,' she said.

'They said he jumped up and slashed the postie's arm through his jacket.

'I think this incident and the postman being chased down the path are meant to have happened quite recently and the third incident, of a postie getting his legs scratched, is meant to have happened last summer.

'Tiger's back end is going as well, he has no more spring in his hocks - so I can't see how he could have jumped at a postie. Our vet is amazed he is still alive.'

Mrs Brayshaw is hoping to appeal against the decision to suspend her post.

A spokeswoman from Royal Mail said: 'We are sorry for the inconvenience to Mrs Brayshaw and we want to resume delivery of mail to her address as quickly as possible.

'We're trying to agree a way to do this and avoid our employees suffering further nasty injuries, as has happened three times already.'

Texas couple find cow trapped under street

The rescue was a success after a cow that was trapped underneath the streets of Kaysville was freed from a storm drain. Davis County Animal Control officers believe the cow wandered into a culvert and then got stuck as the drain became narrow. They say it was under the street for at least five days.

Holden Holt and his wife said they found the cow stuck the drain while walking Thursday morning. "We heard a noise in the storm drain and my wife went over and looked and there was a head with some eyes poking out. It was a little frightening," Holt said.

The cow was fully-grown and had just recently delivered a calf. It was said to have wandered through an opening in the culvert and when the concrete tunnel became narrow, the animal crawled on its knees to reach a wider opening where it could stand.

Construction crews were able to dig a portion of the street up to create an opening big enough to hoist the cow using a tractor.

VIDEO: When Puppies Attack or/ Smothered in Puppies

JOKE: My first time with a condom

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a
packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant
behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me
the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first time.'

So she unwrapped the package,
took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it were empty. It was empty. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time..' So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments. She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked. I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

She liked to beat the sh*t out of me...

ty Patty