How to Bathe Your Python

Baby Carrots

Monkey Business: India

JOKE: an American man took a long vacation to Europe

There was once an American man who took a long vacation to Europe, leaving his cat at home with a friend. About a month into the trip, he got a call from his friend telling him that his cat had died.

"WHAT?!?!" asked the vacationing man, shocked to hear the news. "I loved that cat! You can't just call me and tell me that it died! You have to ease me into it. First maybe call and tell me that the cat's on the roof. Then call again and tell me that the cat fell, but you're doing everything you can to save it, and then tell me that the cat has died."

The American agreed and the vacationer went on with his trip. About a month later, the vacationing man got another call from the American, saying simply, "Your mother's on the roof."

GOT CAPTION? 9/10

WOW...Flying Watermelon to the Face..Ouch

Florida man pulls gun on woman who refused kiss

A North Fort Myers man was arrested Monday on a charge of assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill after deputies say he pulled a gun on a woman that refused to kiss him.

The victim told investigators James Joseph Miranda, 20, has been pursuing her to date him, but she has declined his advances.

The victim said she was walking home from a friend's house around 9:30 p.m. Friday when she walked past Miranda's home, and Miranda asked her to kiss him. She said she dismissed the request, and he pulled out a silver revolver and threatened to kill her.

Miranda fled the scene after the incident.