JOKE: The Frog

A boy about is walking down the street dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of 'a house of ill repute' and knocked on the door.

When the Madam answered it, she saw the boy and asked what he wanted.

He said, 'I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it.

The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, 'Do any of the girls have any diseases?'

Of course the Madam said 'No'.

The boy said, 'I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber - THAT'S the girl I want.'

Since the boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the f irst room on the right.

He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door.

The Madam stopped him and asked, 'Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?'

He said, 'Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of me. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mum and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll give her a quickie in the car and he'll catch the disease.

Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter's, he and Mum will go to bed and have sex, and Mum will catch it.

In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, he will have a quickie with Mum and catch the disease, and he's the fucker who ran over my pet FROG!'

'Disney Tattoo Guy' getting rid of tattoos and all Disney memorabilia

Pennsylvania's "Disney Tattoo Guy" said he is selling his Disney collection and erasing his 2,200 tattoos to live out his own fairytale romance.

George Reiger, 56, of Bethlehem said he is auctioning his 5,000-piece Disney collection, including props from films and commercial merchandise, and getting rid of his 2,200 Disney tattoos in advance of moving to Miami to be with a 48-year-old woman he met at a recent Disney convention in California.

"She makes me feel like a kid," Reiger said on Thursday while boarding a Disney cruise in Cape Canaveral, Fla., with Kathleen, whose last name he did not reveal. "I'm totally in love." Reiger said his Disney-themed tattoos served for a long time to alleviate his loneliness by gaining him attention at Disney theme parks and other locations. He said he now no longer needs them.

"I don't want to see them anymore," he said. "I found a new life; I want to start fresh." The former collector said he plans to move to Miami in January and will marry Kathleen "whenever she says yes."

Gay coffins lift lid on new market

Funeral directors in Germany are bidding for the pink pound - by launching coffins specially designed for gay customers.

The caskets feature homoerotic artwork on the outside and come with a series of tastefully luxurious plush designer interiors, say makers Mike Konigsfeld and Tom Brandl in Cologne, Germany. The designers - who have lived together for more than 10 years - say the images of muscular young men in classical poses are the perfect way to send off a loved one.

"Naturally there were some people who threw their hands up in horror when we had them on display in the window but they are tasteful and beautiful - like our customers," explained Mike.

"People are cutting back in the recession but the one group of consumers who still have high spending power are gay couples and very few people are designing for them in this market," he added.

Clown robs woman sitting on toilet

Robbery usually isn't a laughing matter, but for one woman in Ohio, it eventually did become one after a man wearing a clown mask tried to mug her. "This character in a clown mask threw open my bathroom door. I was on the commode, so it was kind of a surprise." Seventy-year-old Jacqueline Cutright says she lost $28, about $1,000 worth of costume jewelry, and her Ford Escort after a guy wearing this mask broke into her Akron home early on Saturday morning. The one thing he did not rob her of was her sense of humour.

"Wanted to know where all my drugs and money were, and I said, 'Boy, did you break into the wrong house,'" says Cutright. Police say the man behind the mask waving a knife was 22-year-old Cory Buckley of Akron. He got in through this basement window, ransacked the house and found Jacqueline's prescription medications. "I said this is my blood pressure medicine. You want some of that? No. I said this is medicine to help me sleep. You want something to help you sleep? He said no, he wanted Oxycontin and money," Cutright says.

Jacqueline says she thought Buckley was going to take a little silver bracelet a friend had given her, but he gave it back. That's when she knew he meant her no harm. "The bracelet said 'A mother holds her children's hands for a while but their hearts forever,' which I think is lovely, and when he read that, he gave it back to me. That's when I thought, 'This man's not going to hurt me.'" After two hours of tearing the house apart, Buckley took off in Jacqueline's car.

According to a police report, he only made it to the end of the street. As police raced toward him, Buckley rolled the car twice, crawled out the window and made a full confession, right after his knife dropped from his pants pocket onto the pavement in front of the arresting officer's feet. After all that, Jacqueline's wondering if she could have taken him herself. "I thought about doing ninja stuff to him, but I thought no he's faster than I am so, I more or less just sat there on the lid," says Cutright.

VIDEO: Florida woman gives slurred interview after school bus crash

A woman may have incriminated herself after giving a slurred interview to a TV news crew after crashing into the back of a school bus.

Denise Crull was interviewed late last week after she rear-ended a bus full of children on Roger Williams Boulevard in Orlando.

"Well, I was behind the bus ... and I accidentally hit the, um, instead of hitting the brake, I hit the, um ... gas pedal," Crull said.

Fortunately no children were hurt in the crash but Crull's car received serious damage to its front end. Police arrested her and charged her with driving under the influence.

Woman shares vagina pic online, brawls with boyfriend

A Florida woman who claimed to have mistakenly sent a photo of her private parts to men she was chatting with on the Internet was arrested last week and charged with battery for allegedly assaulting her boyfriend after he discovered her online activities.

According to an Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office report, while Kizzy Campbell was away from the home they share, Johnny Lowe came across some 'very provocative' chat messages between his girlfriend and ''other dudes'' on their computer.

Checking more closely, Lowe, 28, discovered that Campbell, 31, 'had taken a photo of her vagina and sent it out.' When she returned home, 'Campbell 'started tripping' because she 'hadn't meant' to send out the photo.' Lowe, who told a sheriff's deputy that he believed her claim that the image was sent out mistakenly, then gave Campbell a hug because 'he was simply trying to be understanding.'

But his empathetic gesture did not end her 'tripping' and she responded by biting, scratching, and cutting his arm with a kitchen knife (during the brawl that ensued, Lowe hit Campbell in the mouth). The pair, who have lived together for seven years, were both charged with battery and taken to jail where they posed for the mug shots at left.