JOKE: A woman goes to the doctor and asks him to help her hubby

An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her Husband's sex drive. 'What about trying Viagra?' asks the doctor.

'Not a chance' says Mrs. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a headache."

'No problem,' replies the doctor. 'Drop it into his coffee, he won't even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on.'

A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how things went. 'Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor.'

'What happened?' asks the doctor.

'Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible.'

'What was terrible?' said the doctor, 'was the sex not good?'

"Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years, but I'll never be able to show my face in McDonald's again.

VIDEO: VW 'Milk Run' Commercial

VIDEO: Electronic Armageddon

VIDEO: SPINNING DOG

Flint the spaniel and his tiny sparrow friend Chicky

They were originally bred as hunting dogs who would think nothing of gobbling up a tiny bird as a tasty snack.

But cocker spaniel Flint went against all his natural instincts to befriend this tiny sparrow which had tumbled out of its nest and crash-landed in the garden.

Chicky appearing in great danger and he tumbled on to the lawn in Wiltshire, England but softy Flint appeared to have taken pity on him.

Bird in paw: Flint the Cocker Spaniel befriended the orphaned sparrow, Chicky, and didn't gobble him up

The dog's owner Greg Larcombe and his four children noticed the unlikely friendship blossoming in their garden and were thrilled that they had a new pet to look after - if only for a short time.
Twins Rebecca and Annabel aged 13, Harry aged 11 and eight-year-old Sophie fed Chicky a diet of mealworms - and soon he was strong enough to fly away.
Flint's ancestors came from Spain and were bred in the UK to specifically catch Eurasian Woodcocks, which is where the term 'cocker' comes from.
Friends: Flint watches over Chicky the sparrow, who was fed mealworms by the Cocker Spaniel's owners to build up his strength

VIDEO: Dog Loves Taking His Ball For A Walk.

Cat breaks record for longest domestic cat

A cat called Stewie has broken the Guinness world record for being the world's longest domestic cat.

The five-year-old cat was confirmed as the new record holder after measuring 48.5 inches from the tip of his nose to the tip of his tail.

In all it's more than four feet long (1.16metres). The previous record was held by a 48-inch cat.

The owners of Stewie, Robin Hendrickson and Erik Brandsness of Reno, Nevada, said they decided to try for the record after hearing numerous people say they were amazed by his length. Stewie is of the Maine Coon variety - known as 'the gentle giants' of the cat world.

Moose on the Loose in Spokane

Authorities in Washington state said a moose spotted running through Spokane was chased by police, news crews and a herd of cows.

The moose was first spotted heading east on 37th Street about 10 a.m. Saturday and police caught up to it near Ferris High School nearly an hour later.

The animal was briefly cornered near the Southside Soccer Complex where hundreds of children were playing around 11:30 a.m. but it jumped into a pasture near the complex and found itself being chased by a herd of cows.

The moose escaped into a satellite communications yard, where it charged and nearly struck a news camera. The animal made its escape by barrelling through the soccer complex, a neighbourhood and the Manito Golf Course. Authorities said they lost track of the moose in the Manito Place neighborhood.

news video: http://www.krem.com/news/local/Moose-on-the-loose-terrorizes-Spokane-neighborhood-105111839.html

VIDEO: Escaped chimp attacks police car

A loose chimp in Kansas City, Missouri paced back and forth in a driveway and yard before sliding a wheelie bin down a street into a patrol car.

Contains NSFW language.

The 21-year-old chimp with a chain trailing behind her bounced onto the hood and scrambled up the windshield. The patrol car's dashcam captured one of her large paws smashing against the windshield, cracking it. She smashes a second time, creating more breaks in the glass.

The chimp then bounces off the patrol car and moves toward her owner, who now is in legal hot water with the city.

The chimp, whose name is Sueko but nicknamed Sue, is now at Monkey Island in Greenwood as authorities try to sort out whether to return the 160-pound chimp to her owner.

VIDEO: Banana cat

JOKE: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Little Maury went to confession, at the beginning of Lent.. "Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been 3 months since my last confession. In that time I have disobeyed my parents nine times, missed Sunday Mass once, had impure thoughts, oh, about nine hundred times, and played with a girl's private parts."

"Played with a girl's private parts!" exclaimed the priest. "Whoa, that's pretty serious. For your penance say three rosaries and wash your hands in holy water."

So little Maury knelt down and fudged his way through the laborious incantations of the three rosaries, then he made the trek up to the holy water font and started to wash his dirty little fingers, when the girl who was behind him in the confessional line walks up and says, "Move over, pal. I gotta gargle."