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JOKE: THE MONGOLIAN CLAP

While in China, a man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered With bright green and purple spots. Horrified, He immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and The doctor says, "I've got bad news for you, You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very Rare and almost unheard of here, we know Very little about it."

The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix Me up, Doc." The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate it."

The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not, I want a second opinion!"

The doctor replies, "Well, go ahead, if You want but surgery is your only choice." The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor,Figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and Proclaims, "Ah, Yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease." The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already Know that but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate it!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. "Stupid American docttah, always want to Opawate. Make more money dat way. No need to amputate!" Oh, Thank God," the man replies!

"Yes," says the Chinese doctor, "Wait two weeks, it fawl off !"

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VIDEO: Keeping a Hippopotamus As a Pet..Not the Wisest Thing to Do

Mar 31, 2011

In the wild west frontiersmen rode horses, in ancient India warriors were known to mount elephants and in parts of Africa legend has it that ostridges were the choice of transportation. But in 21st Century South Africa Marius Els plays, swims and even rides Humphrey the hippo. Raising the 1,200 kg animal since it was just five months old, Marius has a unique bond with the six year old male who lives on his farm. Pictured here in a dam specially built by Marius the hippo is free to wander the open plains of the farm though due to safety reasons can only interact with his life long friend.

Update: 11/15/2011

A farmer was mauled to death by his pet hippo in central South Africa last weekend. Marius Els, 40, was bitten and dragged into water by the hippo known as Humphrey.

Humphrey is about six years old and had been Els' pet since he was rescued as a calf from a flood on the Vaal River in the Free State province, according to the National Post.

As seen in the video above from earlier this year, Els was quite fond of Humphrey and considered him a close friend. Els said "Humphrey's like a son to me, he's just like a human." Yet Els did know the inherent risk of keeping such an animal as a pet. He admits in the video, "It's a little bit dangerous."

In addition to the 1,200 kilogram (2,645 pounds) hippo, Els also raised 20 different species of exotic animals on his 400-acre farm. When paramedics arrived at Els' farm, he had been submerged in the river "for an unknown period" and was pronounced dead on the scene, according to The Daily Mail.

Hippos, which are native to Sub-Saharan Africa, are currently listed as vulnerable on the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species.