WTF?

JOKE: A couple takes their son on vacation to a nude beach

A couple takes their son on vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.

The son comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"

The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."

So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,"Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"

The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got.

GOT CAPTION? 7/9

got your ears on?

GOT CAPTION? 7/09 v.2.0

got your ears on?

Tattoos for Better Grades?

For parents and teachers, it can be an uphill battle to get kids to do well in school. First it was cash for grades, now its ... tats for grades?

That's what one San Francisco teacher promised his students if they improved their performance: a tattoo. Not for them, but for him. Stanley Richards, a science teacher at City Arts and Technology High School, vowed he would get a tattoo of their vice principal if students raised the school's academic performance score by 50 points.

And not just any tattoo: Mr. Vice Principal would be portrayed as a sumo wrestler, holding a medallion of test scores and slaying a dragon. (Hope Mr. Richards has the number of a good tattoo-removal doctor.)

The students hit the books, and true to his word, Mr. R showed up on the last day of class with the vice principal's mug on his calf.

OMG...... WE GOTZ MUGSHOTZ

Amelia Love Oveide, 46, of Las Crusces, NM is seen in this booking photo. Oveide has pleaded guilty to twisting off her daughter-in-law's nipple in a drunken brawl.

Justin Dale Little Jim is seen in this mugshot from Prince William County Police. Little Jim was arrested after allegedly breaking into a sex shop and caught in relations with a sex doll.

Eugene Hickman's family called Walton County (Fl.) police after his grandson allegedly saw him trying to have sex with a pet bulldog.

Bernadette Besario Catan-Keeler, 30, was arrested and charged with domestic violence battery after she attacked her husband and bit him on the night of their wedding, according to Broward County Police.

police in Tennessee say a Memphis man grew outraged when his kids arrived at another child's birthday party and realized that all of the cake had already been eaten by other guests. Joseph Hayes allegedly wanted his kids to have their cake and eat it too -- so he left the party and returned with a handgun. Hayes, 48, has been charged with aggravated assault for the June 4 incident.

Cops from two Florida police departments arrested Eleanor Thompson on suspicion of drunken driving on the same day. Thompson, 55, had blood alcohol levels of 0.32 during her first arrest and 0.30 during her second arrest, according to investigators.

A 40-year-old man who tricked caregivers into changing his diapers by pretending he had the emotional maturity of a 5-year-old apologized to a victim in court Monday before pleading guilty to charges of organized fraud. Authorities said Sean Kelly of Port St. John, Florida, told caregivers he was incontinent and hired two women to change his diapers in 2008 and 2009 but did not pay them the amount he promised.

Police in Pennsylvania are investigating three separate incidents of indecent exposure involving a 35-year-old man named Handy Henry Wood, who allegedly exposed himself to two women.

A Load of Bull: Woman Stole $110 K of Bull Semen

An Ohio woman stole a valuable container of frozen bull semen from her former employer and planned to use the pilfered seed to extort her ex-boss, prosecutors charged.

But suspect Karen Saum pleaded not guilty in a Springfield court on Tuesday to stealing a tank containing $110,000 of cattle sperm from Genetic Connections, which specializes in veterinary artificial insemination, TV station WHIO reported.

Authorities alleged that Saum, 45, was going to ransom the frozen semen in exchange for help starting a business.

An investigation launched by cops after the reported theft on June 24 led them to Saum's home, where they allegedly found the nitrogen tank in her garage on July 1.

Police said that Saum used her knowledge of Genetic Connections' layout to steal some of the most valuable bodily fluids on the premises.

"She knew where this semen would have been located," Det. James Hollopeter said, WHIO reported. "It was actually locked in an interior closet because it was more valuable that some of the other that they had out."

VIDEO: Girl Blows Up a Hot Water Bottle