JOKE: Call the Vet

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and 'in heat,' agreed to look after and house her neighbor's male dog while he was away on vacation.

She had a large house and believed that she could keep the dogs apart ...but as she was drifting off to sleep she heard an awful howling and moaning sound. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate.

Unable to separate them and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.

Once she explained the problem to him, the vet said. "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and be able to withdraw."

"Do you think that will work?" she asked.

"It did for me" said the vet.

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2 Arrested After Goats, Guinea Pigs, Ducks Found In Car

MIAMI -- Two men face animal cruelty charges after a call reporting crying coming from a car led officers to discover several animals inside.

Miami police said officers were dispatched to Northwest 37th Avenue and Northwest Seventh Street on Monday after receiving a report that someone had heard what they thought was a baby crying in a car parked there.

The officers found no child in the car, but they did find several animals, including goats, roosters, pigeons, guinea pigs and ducks.

Police said one of the goats died later that day, but they did not elaborate on the animal's cause of death.

James Arroyo Jr., 44, and Raul Armenteros, 46, who police said were responsible for the car, arrived about 45 minutes after the officers made their discovery.

Arroyo and Armenteros were arrested and charged with 22 counts of animal cruelty with intent to injure. The men, who appeared in court Tuesday morning, are being held on $110,000 bond each.

Man found holding severed leg after he was hit by a train in Oregon

When medical personnel arrived on site in Southeast Portland late Monday after a man was hit by a train, they found James Piles holding his severed leg, according to Portland police.

Sgt. Pete Simpson, a police spokesman, said the 23-year-old was conscious and holding his lower left leg which was severed below the knee. Simpson said he told police he had been smoking marijuana earlier in the day and didn't hear the Union Pacific train coming.

The train was traveling southbound from Portland to Eugene, according to Raquel Espinoza, a spokeswoman for Union Pacific. She said the conductor and engineer, who sit in the locomotive in front of the train, had no idea someone had been hit.

"It happened several cars back," she said. "We're not sure if he was trying to hop on the train or was on it already."

She said someone called 9-1-1, prompting a call to Union Pacific's dispatchers. The company stopped the train and discovered evidence that someone had been hit.

Piles was taken to OHSU Hospital where he was reported to be in fair condition today. It's not clear whether he was visiting the area or is a transient. Police have no local contact information for him.

He was hit before 11:30 p.m. on tracks east of Southeast Water Avenue and Stark Street.

Portland police and Union Pacific officials are investigating the incident. The trains carry recording devices, like black boxes on airplanes, which investigators will review.