Joke: The American and the Aussie

An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man who has never been with a woman sexually. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.   She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. And after a long-distance courtship, they decide to get married.   On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the festivities. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked and all the furniture from the room piled in one corner.   "What happened?" she asks.   "I've never been with a woman," he says. "But if it's anything like screwing a kangaroo I'm gonna need all the room I can get!"

GOT CAPTION? 10/30

GOT CAPTION? 10/30 v.2.0

Washington man cuts off arm with guillotine

A Bellingham man apparently severed his right arm on a homemade guillotine and then walked to a nearby medical clinic for help.

Police and medics received a call from employees at the clinic in the 300 block of Birchwood Avenue late Thursday morning stating a man had just arrived with a severed arm, said Mark Young with Bellingham police.

As medics took the man away for treatment at a local hospital, police went to woods near the clinic and found the severed arm and a homemade guillotine at a camp where the man had been living.

Officers brought the arm to the hospital in the hopes it could be reattached. Later, medics decided the man needed to be airlifted to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle.

While being treated, the man was interviewed by officers and indicated the wound was self-inflicted.

Meanwhile, other officers grabbed a chainsaw and went to go dismantle the guillotine, which Young said looked just like ones you would see in medieval times.

"It was constructed out of 2 by 6 by at least 12-feet tall timbers," Young said, adding the materials and makeshift blade were apparently found by scavenging the local area.

"A lot of thought and a lot of work and lot of preparation went into making this device, and it was apparent this individual used this device to sever his own arm," Young said.

NATURE | Behind the Scenes of "Hummingbirds" | PBS

Hummingbirds: Magic in the AirVideo: Full Episode

Watch Hummingbirds: Magic in the Air on PBS. See more from Nature.

http://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/episodes/hummingbirds-magic-in-the-air/video-full-episode/5475/

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