Monday, August 22, 2011

JOKE: The Chastity Belt

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A nobleman decides to join the holy crusades. Concluding his beautiful wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend.

He then tells him, "If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life."

Then he leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. Waiting for it to come closer and sees his best friend. "What's wrong" he asks?

To which his best friend answers, "You gave me the wrong key."

GOT CAPTION? 8/23

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GOT CAPTION? 8/23 v.2.0





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VIDEO: Aerobics with Jesse the Jack Russell Terrier

VIDEO: Baby Vanishes During Courtroom Scuffle



Detroit police are searching for a missing 4-month-old girl. Evelyn Baley Daniel went missing Thursday during a custody hearing in Detroit. No Amber Alert has been issued.

Last week, Evelyn's father, Damon Daniel, shot and killed her mother, 26-year-old Ebony Gaines. Police said Daniel called to tell them he had shot Gaines at the couple's home.

The Wayne County Prosecutor's Office said it was in self-defense and that it would not file charges against Daniel. Family members have been publicly disputing that. A fight broke about between the couple's two families during the custody hearing.

The judge granted Daniel full custody of Evelyn. However, a member of Gaine's family was asked by the judge to turn the girl over to Daniel, but she said she did not know where Evelyn was.
"While in court there was a brawl going on," Daniel said. "I was pushed into the courtroom by the Sheriffs and police officers that were in there. I was told to stay inside of the courtroom and in the midst of all that my daughter was being lateraled outside of the courtroom."
Gaines' mother said she thinks Evelyn is with a member of Daniel's family. No one in Evelyn's extended family said they know where she is. Anyone with information on Evelyn's whereabouts is asked to contact the Detroit Police Department.

VIDEO: Itchy Seal Does Some Scratching

Baranov, a Northern fur seal at the New England Aquarium, gets a little help from the exhibit for a good back scratch. Fur seals have 300,000 hairs per square inch, so grooming takes a lot of work!

PRANK VIDEO: Man pretends to be 911 to telemarketer

VIDEO: Soda Siphon Dogs LMAO



Hilarious video that has a British guy speaking Japanese to German shepherds on a tv show subtitled it in Dutch!! This is a riot!

Preacher accused of raping women behind church

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LADSON, S.C. -- Dale Richardson was saved at a tent revival 32 years ago, was called to preach the Lord's word in 2006 and, for the past year, had served as pastor at Freedom Free Will Baptist Church, a modest red brick structure on a South Carolina side road running along a railroad track.
Now he's in jail, charged with kidnapping and raping three women at gunpoint - two of them in a trailer behind the church - and kidnapping a fourth who was not sexually assaulted.
According to an incident report, about noon on a Saturday last month, Richardson picked up a woman and gave her a ride. When the 20-year-old tried to get out of the car, Richardson allegedly pulled a gun, bound her hands, covered her head and took her to the gray-blue trailer home behind the church.

The report said he later dropped the woman in a wooded area, threatening to shoot her if she turned around. Police said the woman was able to identify Richardson from his picture on the church website, which also displays a short biography detailing how he became a Christian and then a pastor.
Richardson has since been charged with two other similar sexual assaults, both of which occurred last year. He is accused of bringing one of those women to the church trailer. The third woman claims she was raped in a wooded area outside nearby Summerville, a bedroom community about 20 miles northwest of Charleston. He is also charged with kidnapping a fourth woman.
Richardson said little last week when, dressed in a gray and white striped prison jump suit with his ankles and wrists shackled, he appeared before a Dorchester County magistrate on the latest charges. He said he understood the charges against him and was denied bond when the magistrate said he was a danger to society.
Richardson's public defender said it's too soon to comment on the case. During his initial bond hearing when he was first arrested, Richardson said he has a spotless record and will put up a strong defense.
Maj. John Garrison of the Dorchester County Sheriff's Office said serial rape cases are unusual in the area. He said this case is drawing particular interest because the suspect is a preacher.
Garrison, then at the Charleston County Sheriff's Department, helped investigate the so-called Lowcountry serial rapist that attracted national headlines two decades ago. Authorities believe Duncan Proctor, who was convicted of two rapes and burglaries and sentenced to life in prison, may have raped as many as 30 women between March 1990 and June 1992.
Most neighbors on the quiet cul-de-sac where Richardson lived in a neat yellow house refused to talk last week. But Mary Milligan, who lives two doors away, came to Richardson's defense.
"I don't believe any of this. I have never had a problem with him. He's kind. He's a member of this community. He mows the neighbors' lawns. I am just blown away by all these accusations," she said.
There was no one home at the Richardson residence, where a paving stone beside the walkway is inscribed "Believe in God. Believe also in me. John 14:1."
The church website says Richardson became pastor of the church on June 9, 2010. It says he graduated from Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va. - the college founded by evangelical preacher Jerry Falwell - and has a wife and two grown daughters.
But his name has now been removed from the sign outside the church that has a congregation of about 50 people. Those attending last Wednesday night's service who were willing to be interviewed did not condemn Richardson.
"He's always been a real sweet person. He's always taught God's word," said Virginia Davis, who has been attending the church about a year. "He's been honest with me since Day 1. I'd let him look me right in the face and tell me he did it, because I don't believe he did it."
The Rev. Dean Mandrell, who has been helping by preaching at one of the church's three weekly services, said the congregation has drawn closer.
"Nobody is leaving, they are staying right here. They are just worshipping God. They are not condemning. They are not tearing down or poor-mouthing or bad-mouthing him," he said.
Mandrell's Wednesday sermon was about judging others, based on Matthew's biblical account of the Sermon on the Mount in which Jesus says people with a log in their own eye should not be concerned about the speck in another's eye.
The South Carolina Free Will Baptist State Association has suspended Richardson's preaching credentials pending the outcome of the investigations because "the misconduct alleged against him is forbidden by God." The Rev. Todd Smith, executive director of the statewide association numbering almost 120 churches, said in a statement the association would cooperate with investigators.
"Our prayers are with all involved," he said.


VIDEO: Supercell Storm Over Michigan

This classic supercell storm with embedded tornado was shot in Iron Mountain, Michigan, on August 19th.

Mother bear in China kills cub and then itself

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The Chinese media has reported on an extraordinary account of a mother bear saving her cub from a life of torture by strangling it and then killing itself.

The bears were kept in a farm located in a remote area in the North-West of China. The bears on the farm had their gall bladders milked daily for 'bear bile,' which is used as a remedy in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).

It was reported that the bears are kept in tiny cages known as 'crush cages', as the bears have no room to manoeuvre and are literally crushed.

The bile is harvested by making a permanent hole or fistula in the bears' abdomen and gall bladder.

As the hole is never closed, the animals are suspect to various infections and diseases including tumours, cancers and death from peritonitis.

The bears are fitted with an iron vest, as they often try to kill themselves by hitting their stomach as they are unable to bear the pain.

A person who was on the farm in place of a friend witnessed the procedures and told Reminbao.com that they were inhumane.

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The bears were kept in a farm and had their gall bladders milked daily for 'bear bile,' which is used as a remedy in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).

The witness also claimed that a mother bear broke out its cage when it heard its cub howl in fear before a worker punctured its stomach to milk the bile.

The workers ran away in fear when they saw the mother bear rushing to its cub's side.

Unable to free the cub from its restraints, the mother hugged the cub and eventually strangled it.

It then dropped the cub and ran head-first into a wall, killing itself.

Many TCM practitioners have denounced the use of bear bile in their treatment as there are cheaper herbs and synthetics that can be used in its place.

Bear bile is traditionally used to remove 'heat' from the body as well as treat high fever, liver ailments and sore eyes.

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