JOKE: THE TATTOO PARLOR

A woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks the tattoo artist, "Do you do custom work?"

"Why of course," says the tattoo artist!

"Good," she says. "I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh. And I want them both looking at my tootie."

"No problem," says the artist. "Strip from the waist down and get up on the table." After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes. The woman sits up and examines the tattoos. "That doesn't look like them," she complains loudly!

"Oh yes it does," the artist says indignantly, "and I can prove it." With that, he runs out of the shop and grabs the first man off the street he can find; it happens to be the town drunk. "Well, what do you think," the woman asks, spreading her legs apart for the drunk man? "Do you know who these men are?"

The drunks studies the tattoos for a couple of seconds and says, "I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson!"

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Herd of sheep jump to death before impending slaughter

A herd of sheep being led to slaughter in Turkey have instead ended their lives by leaping off a cliff.

Herder Mejmet Gana was guiding his 52 sheep across a mountain range when suddenly one of the sheep turned to the edge of a cliff and jumped, quickly followed by the rest.

The sheep were being taken to a local market where they were going to be sold for for the upcoming Eid al-Adha Muslim holiday that involves animal sacrifice. The sheep carcasses were found at the bottom of the cliff.

But it's not the first time the European country has witnessed an unprovoked mass sheep suicide. In 2005, 1500 sheep jumped off a cliff in Turkey. The first 450 were killed, but the rest survived by landing on the dead bodies of the herd below.

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JOKE: A Goth was window shopping with his girlfriend

A Goth was window shopping with his girlfriend when she spotted a beautiful diamond ring in a jewelry store window. "Wow, I'd sure love to have that!" she said.

"No problem, babe," he said, throwing a brick through the glass and grabbing the ring. A few blocks later, she admired a black leather jacket in another shop window.

"What I'd give to own that!" she said.

"Sure thing, honey," he said, throwing another brick through the window and snatching the coat. Soon they passed a Mercedes dealership.

"I'd do anything for one of those!" she said, pointing to a convertible.

"Damn it, baby!" cried the Goth. "Do you think I'm made of bricks?!"