JOKE: INSEMINATION MAN AND THE BLONDE

Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a Colorado rancher.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?" and then the rancher leaves for the fields.

After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one, right here."

Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, "Tell me lady, how did you know this is the cow to be bred?"

"That's simple. By the nail over its stall." Amy explains very confidently.

Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"

She turns and walks away, and with complete confidence, says, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."

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VIDEO: Fines issued for texting while walking in Fort Lee, New Jersey

People caught texting on their mobile phones while walking face being fined by police in a US town. The clampdown comes after a rise in the number of jaywalking incidents, where pedestrians cross roads illegally or recklessly, instead of using marked routes.

Officers in Fort Lee, New Jersey, have said some people are constantly putting themselves at risk of being hit by vehicles because they do not pay attention. Police are stepping up patrols looking for "dangerous" walkers who are not obeying the rules of the road.

They have been handing out leaflets warning pedestrians about the crackdown. So far this year, more than 20 people have been hit by cars in Fort Lee. "It's a big distraction. Pedestrians aren't watching where they're going. They're not aware," said Fort Lee Police chief Thomas Ripoli at a news conference.

One resident Sue Choe admitted she texts and walks "all the time," but added: "When I walk, I still look around. I'm not constantly looking down." In the last month-and-a-half, at least 117 tickets have been issued for jaywalking - an offence which carries a fine of $85.