A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, l have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but l have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and l will put them in with my two male parrots who l taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to worship."
"Thank you!" the woman responded. So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.
The lady puts her female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the bibles away. Our prayers have been answered!"
Craig Grant has constructed scale buildings for his feline friends on his 25-acre cat sanctuary called the Caboodle Ranch.
The pampered pussies have colourful houses, a police station, a city hall, a Wal*Mart and even a boating lake.
But amazingly, the Florida resident started out by not even liking the animals.
He explains: "I was renting a two bedroom condo by the beach with my son. Then my son moved out on his own for the first time.
"He left his cat, Pepper, with me because he couldn't take it with him. I didn't like cats but I agreed to keep him.
"I wasn't used to being alone and I guess Pepper wasn't either. We slowly began to get along."
Just as Craig was getting used to the company of one cat, he discovered Pepper was pregnant.
He says: "I thought, 'Oh great, now what?'. She had five kittens. I wanted to give them away because I didn't want my beautiful home destroyed, but my son told me they had to stay with their mother for 8 weeks.
"Over that time I learned that every cat had his own unique personality and it wasn't long before the kittens were swinging from my curtains. I didn't care. Something had changed... I didn't want to give them up."
Craig soon realised he would have to move out of his condo as he was drawing complaints from his neighbours. More shockingly he says: "I found a B.B. (bullet) lodged in the side of one of my cats and another was bitten by a pitbull that I know was set loose on purpose. Something had to be done."
He was able to find a rural area in Madison, Florida and began taking in more four-legged friends. He says: "I had taken in abandoned and stray cats from the neighbourhood and areas that I work as a contractor. I had 22 cats by the spring of 2004."
Since then the numbers of residents has grown into the hundreds as Craig has taken on strays and cats he finds in animal shelters.
He explains: "Caboodle Ranch is now a permanent sanctuary for cats who have been kicked around by heartless people. Some almost starved to death, some of them are wounded strays. I've seen many locked in cages for months in animal shelters and have taken in some of those too.
"Cats should be able to roam free, and at Caboodle Ranch, that's what they do. We are in the middle of 100 acres of wildlife. The cats follow me through the nature trails that I put in and maintain, they climb in tree forts that I've built and hide in underground dens I've dug for them."
Craig has all the cats spayed or neutered and ensures all shots are up to date. He funds everything himself and with the help of donations, even travelling the 250 miles round-trip from work many times a week to keep the sanctuary going. He has to put in 14-plus hours a day and sometimes gets help from occasional volunteers.
But visitors to the Caboodle Ranch shouldn't think they can drive away with a new pet as none of the cats are up for adoption.
Craig explains: "The reason the cats are there in the first place is that there were not enough homes. The cats at the ranch have their forever home now. We prefer people adopt cats from humane societies, animal control etc, where those cats are on death row and are in desperate need to be saved."
Craig Grant has constructed scale buildings for his feline friends on his 25-acre cat sanctuary called the Caboodle Ranch.The pampered pussies have colourful houses, a police station, a city hall, a Wal*Mart and even a boating lake.
But amazingly, the Florida resident started out by not even liking the animals.He explains: "I was renting a two bedroom condo by the beach with my son. Then my son moved out on his own for the first time."He left his cat, Pepper, with me because he couldn't take it with him. I didn't like cats but I agreed to keep him.
"I wasn't used to being alone and I guess Pepper wasn't either. We slowly began to get along."Just as Craig was getting used to the company of one cat, he discovered Pepper was pregnant.He says: "I thought, 'Oh great, now what?'. She had five kittens. I wanted to give them away because I didn't want my beautiful home destroyed, but my son told me they had to stay with their mother for 8 weeks.
"Over that time I learned that every cat had his own unique personality and it wasn't long before the kittens were swinging from my curtains. I didn't care. Something had changed... I didn't want to give them up."Craig soon realised he would have to move out of his condo as he was drawing complaints from his neighbours. More shockingly he says: "I found a B.B. (bullet) lodged in the side of one of my cats and another was bitten by a pitbull that I know was set loose on purpose. Something had to be done."
He was able to find a rural area in Madison, Florida and began taking in more four-legged friends. He says: "I had taken in abandoned and stray cats from the neighbourhood and areas that I work as a contractor. I had 22 cats by the spring of 2004."Since then the numbers of residents has grown into the hundreds as Craig has taken on strays and cats he finds in animal shelters.He explains: "Caboodle Ranch is now a permanent sanctuary for cats who have been kicked around by heartless people. Some almost starved to death, some of them are wounded strays. I've seen many locked in cages for months in animal shelters and have taken in some of those too.
"Cats should be able to roam free, and at Caboodle Ranch, that's what they do. We are in the middle of 100 acres of wildlife. The cats follow me through the nature trails that I put in and maintain, they climb in tree forts that I've built and hide in underground dens I've dug for them."Craig has all the cats spayed or neutered and ensures all shots are up to date. He funds everything himself and with the help of donations, even travelling the 250 miles round-trip from work many times a week to keep the sanctuary going. He has to put in 14-plus hours a day and sometimes gets help from occasional volunteers.But visitors to the Caboodle Ranch shouldn't think they can drive away with a new pet as none of the cats are up for adoption.Craig explains: "The reason the cats are there in the first place is that there were not enough homes. The cats at the ranch have their forever home now. We prefer people adopt cats from humane societies, animal control etc, where those cats are on death row and are in desperate need to be saved."
