JOKE: A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra

A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra. Anxious to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but, in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his parrot eats all of them.

Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.

Just as his wife comes home, the Viagra kicks in and it's hours later before he remembers the parrot. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.

"What happened?" the man asks, "You were in there for hours and yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?"

The parrot gasps: "Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs of a frozen chicken?"

VIDEO: WOW..THIS IS ANOTHER WEIRD ONE..WHAT DO YOU THINK?

ABC 7's Dan Noyes was probing allegations that Laguna Honda administrators used money from the Patient Gift Fund -- funds donated to patients -- to buy catered meals and airline tickets, among other things. According to Noyes, "Hospital Director Mivic Hirose ignored our phone calls for an interview. So, we showed up at her town hall meeting at the hospital." That's when the chief of community relations director Marc Slavin stepped in and repeatedly patted Noyes with a hand. Each time, Noyes warned, "Do not touch me," and one point Noyes threatened to call the cops. But like a brother bugging his little sister, Slavin continued his touchy-feely ways with Noyes and the camerawoman.

The World's Most Tattooed Woman

What began as a bid to cover up a nasty skin condition has resulted into a Guiness World Record for an American who has been named the most tattooed woman in the world.
Julia Gnuse - nicknamed the 'illustrated lady' - has 95 per cent of her body covered in ink, ranging from jungle scenes and cartoons to her favorite actors.

Miss Gnuse, from California, started getting tattoos on her legs after developing a skin condition called porphyria, which causes the skin to blister when exposed to sunlight.

She then turned her attention to her stomach, arms and back and before long was addicted to body art.

In an interview, Miss Gnuse said although the ink did not stop her skin from blistering, it covered up the scars and allowed her to be exposed to the sun.
'I did this for the reason of covering scarring from the blisters. They get as deep as three degree burn,' she said.
'I had a friend who is a plastic surgeon, who suggested tattooing my skin the same color to the scarring that I had, seeing if we can match my just pale-looking skin that I had.'

'That didn't work. We tried it. It was very difficult to match that. So I had the idea of a colorful tattoo, then I got hooked. I got addicted.'

Miss Gnuse said there was medication available for her condition, but said taking it could have placed her at risk of blindness.

Miss Gnuse, who unveiled her tattoos at a BookExpo in New York yesterday, said every one of her designs had been created by the same tattoo artist.

VIDEO: Kia presents: A new way to roll in 2010

Maybe you've seen this but not being a tv watcher, this is new to me

VIDEO: First there was Iron Man..then came IRON BABY

First there was Iron Man..then came IRON BABY..a superb effort by the maker's of Iron Baby's uncle..brought to you by Huggies, strong enough even for Super Heroes

Car Hits Pepsi Truck, Causes Huge Wreck In Dallas Wednesday Morning

The driver of a Pepsi semi-truck is cut off by an out-of-control Nissan Sentra, overturned and then thrown across the median into oncoming traffic Wednesday morning in Dallas.

Video from the North Texas Tollway Authority shows an insane crash occurring on the northbound lanes of the Dallas North Tollway just after 10:00 am on Wednesday. In the video it appears as if the Nissan Sentra doesn't make the turn and hits the truck, bounces off and then over-corrects, causing the Sentra to then reconnect with the semi, sending the unladen truck into the southbound lanes.

http://jalopnik.com/5550345/video-car-hits-pepsi-truck-causes-catastrophic-wreck?skyline=true&s=i

JOKE: Paddy and Mick were both laid off

Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation,

Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher. I sew DA 'lastic onto ladies' knickers and tongs.'

The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave him 80 pounds a week unemployment pay.

Mick was next in and when asked his occupation replied, 'Diesel Fitter.'

Since a diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick 160 pounds a week.

When Paddy found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained, 'Knicker Stitchers are unskilled labour and Diesel Fitters are skilled labour.'

'What skill?' yelled Paddy. 'I sew DA 'lastic on DA knickers and tongs, then Mick puts 'em over his head and says: 'Yep, diesel fitter.'