JOKE: CAB FARE

One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and

slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, totally naked woman sitting in the back seat.

"Where to" he stammered?

"Union Station," answered the woman.

"You got it," he said, taking another long glance in the mirror.

The woman caught him staring at her and asked, "Just what the hell are you looking at, driver?"

"Well ma'am, I noticed that you're completely naked, and I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare."

The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver and said, "Does *THIS* answer your question?"

Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked, "Got anything smaller?"

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Judge orders man to carry 'I am a thief' sign every weekend for six years

A man who stole money from victims of crime has been ordered to stand on a busy city street with a sign saying he is a thief - every weekend for the next six years. Daniel Mireles has been walking back and forth on Westheimer in Houston - in front of the Galleria shopping centre with a sign saying he is a thief.

In large capital letters, his sign reads: 'I am a thief. I stole $250,000 from the Harris County crime victim's fund. Daniel Mireles.' A judge ordered the public humiliation as part of Mireles's sentence.

Mireles says that he suffers abuse from passersby, but sometimes gets sympathy as well. He said: 'I've been stopped by two gentlemen who don't approve of me walking the street. This block right here. They don't approve of what I did, but they don't approve of this.'

Mireles said he must stand at the intersection for five hours every weekend for the next six years. His wife Eloise, a former county employee, was also convicted of theft in July. She'll serve the same public punishment once she gets out of jail.

Barack Obama Streaker Could Receive $1 Million Prize

The man who streaked Barack Obama at a rally on Sunday could be in line for a $1 million prize. It was offered to the first person to successfully expose himself in front of the President by a British billionaire who encouraged people to attempt the stunt and post the footage on a website in exchange for $1 million.

Juan Rodriguez, 24, from Staten Island in New York ran naked out of a crowd during a political rally in Philadelphia before being arrested by police. The American was bailed on Monday after being charged with indecent exposure, open lewdness and disorderly conduct and is waiting to hear whether he will receive his money.

Battlecam.com, the website set up by digital media entrepreneur Alki David, is awaiting confirmation from the Greek Embassy whether Mr Obama heard and saw the actions of Mr Rodriguez. In accordance with the rules laid out by Battlecam.com the streaker must be in the eye-line of the President and also within earshot so that he can hear them shout out the name of the website six times.

Mr David, 42, who is 45th in the Sunday Times Rich List, said: "We are delighted with Mr Rodriguez. I am looking forward to presenting him with a big bag of cash. We are just waiting for confirmation that Obama did hear him and then we can hand over the money. I've nothing against Obama himself - it's just we knew this stunt would attract so much publicity if it was with the President." Mr Rodriguez is reportedly intending to share the money with four others, including his girlfriend, who helped him pull the stunt off.

Naked Lunch OR Naked Came the Stranger

An Oklahoma City man found an unwelcome guest at his desk when he returned from lunch last week.

The worker found a naked man sitting at his desk Thursday and viewing pornography on his computer, according to an Oklahoma City police report released today.

The employee of the business in the 3900 block of NW 10 did not know the intruder seated at his desk and told police the man didn't work there. He asked the man what he was doing there, and the man told him he was "cleaning and trying to make some money," the report stated.

When asked how he got inside the business, the man said the door was open. The worker told police he must not have properly secured the door lock before leaving, the report states.

Police arrested Curtis John Halberstadt, 57, on complaints of indecent exposure and public indecency. Halberstadt, who was listed in the police report as an unemployed transient, remained in jail today on $2,000 bail.

man runs girlfriend off road for taking video game system

Colleen Frable became so angry her unemployed boyfriend was spending the day playing video games, she decided to break his habit by taking the PlayStation with her to work Friday, she told Lehigh Township police.

Police said her live-in boyfriend, Darren Suchon, 42, became so enraged that he followed Frable's vehicle from their home near Palmerton on Route 248 to Lehigh Township, where he forced her vehicle off the road and rear-ended it while driving her 1996 gold Porsche sports car, all in an effort to get the video game system back.

Suchon, of 88 Hahns Dairy Road, Lower Towamensing Township, now faces a host of charges, including simple assault, reckless endangerment, harassment, disorderly conduct, reckless driving and driving with a suspended or revoked license. He was sent to Northampton County Prison under $25,000 bail.

In an interview with police after the chase, Suchon told officers he was mad his girlfriend took the PlayStation and "didn't know what the big deal was."

He told police, "I just wanted the game, I would never hurt her. I just wanted the game."

According to police:

Frable told police that just before 6 p.m. she argued with Suchon about playing video games all day.

She said that when she left for work, she took the PlayStation with her. When she was on Route 248 near Route 873, Frable looked in her rearview mirror and saw Suchon driving her Porsche while waving his arms and yelling to get her to pull over.

Frable said Suchon nearly hit her car several times and forced her onto the shoulder of the road twice. When she stopped at a light near Route 145, Suchon hit the rear end of her car.

Frable said she pulled into a parking lot in the 4700 block of Lehigh Drive, which is Route 248, and Suchon got out of her car. She said Suchon was yelling at her to give him the PlayStation and trying to force down her driver's-side window, which was open halfway. She said Suchon stopped and left when two men came out of a nearby business.

Frable drove to work and called 911. Police said Suchon told them Frable had taken the video system with her to work once before, and he didn't want her to do it again.