JOKE: What Was That?

A man and his lover were driving along, arguing about his infidelity to her, when suddenly she produces a knife, reaches over, slices off his penis, and tosses it out the window! In the following car, a man is driving his young daughter home from school, chatting away, when the now-detached member strikes their windshield, sticks for a moment, then slowly slides up and off. "Daddy! What was that?" Knowing full well what it was, but unwilling to talk about anything sexual at her young age, he just replies, "Uh, I think it was a bug, honey." The daughter looks confused for a moment and then says, "For a bug, it sure had a big dick, didn't it, Daddy?"

Man pulled from path of incoming train at Madrid metro station

A Spanish man has an off duty policeman to thank after he was saved from the path of an oncoming train.

CCTV footage of how the dramatic events unfolded have been released. The video shows the 41-year-old man falling from the platform at the Puerta del Angel station.

Passengers are then seen to be screaming and waving their arms to try to warn the conductor of a train which was just about to pull into the station.

The 30-year-old police officer scrambled across the tracks and pulled the man to safety. The train narrowly misses both of them. The off duty police officer only graduated from police academy two months ago.

VIDEO: Tiger and Pig..Best Friends