JOKE: Spreading the Wealth

A farmer finally decided to buy a TV. The store assured him that they would install the antenna and TV the next day. The next evening the farmer turned on his new TV and found only political ads on every channel. The next morning he turned the TV on and found only political ads again.When he came in to eat lunch he tried the TV again but still only found political ads The next day when he still found only political ads he called the store to complain. The owner said that it was impossible for every channel to only have political ads, but agreed to send their repairman to check the TV.When the TV repairman turned on the TV he found that the farmer was right. After looking at the TV for a while he went outside to check the antenna. In a few minutes he returned and told the farmer he had found the problem. The antenna had been installed on top of the windmill and grounded to the manure spreader.

(this here ain't the actual device)

VIDEO: Kodak Aromatography

Rats would rather starve than eat healthy food

Adding fuel to the idea that junk food is like crack, scientists at Scripps Florida say rats fed high-calorie junk food became addicted to the food and voluntarily starved when given healthy food instead.

Scripps Florida scientists Paul Kenny and Paul Johnson have said that junk food changed the rats' brain chemistry in the same way that chronic cocaine use alters an addicts brain functions.

In the experiment, one group of rats was given healthy, nutritionally balanced food. A different group was given "unlimited access to the worst stuff Johnson could find at the supermarket including bacon, sausage, cheesecake, pound cake, Ding Dongs and frosting."

The junk food group gained weight and became less active. "More surprisingly, the fat rats exhibited the sort of self-destructive behaviour associated with human junkies. The rats would eat junk food even if they knew doing so would result in a mild but distinctly uncomfortable electrical shock to their feet."

The scientists then replaced the unhealthy food with the healthy diet of the first group of rats, and the fat rats refused to eat at all.

Junk food alters the brain's chemistry by releasing dopamine that would normally be released when having sex, snorting cocaine or eating a rich dessert, say the scientists. The junk food-addicted rats learned that the easiest way to experience pleasure was by eating high-calorie, high-fat food. Kenny and Johnson hope the results of the study can help people learn to deal with food addictions.

Drunk man found inside engine of Indian Airlines Jet

AN ALLEGEDLY drunk man was found in a commercial jet engine as it was being prepared for take-off.
The man was only spotted when an engineering and security team member saw a leg dangling from the rear of the engine.

Rubbing his eye in disbelief and after checking again to make sure it wasn't a delusion, he informed others, who then rushed to the engine.

Indira Gandhi International Airport in Delhi, India, confirmed it was the first of its kind incident.

The plane, an Indian Airlines Airbus A-320, was being prepared for its first flight of the day two hours before scheduled departure to Raipur, The Times of India reported.

The young man was quizzed by the airline security and said he entered the airport in a truck.

He walked into the operational area and being sleepy, chose the engine as his bed for the night.

JOKE: One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits

One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?'

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the panther, 'That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!'

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...
'Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!

Moral of this story...

Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.