GOT CAPTION? 7/26

JOKE: THE MARRIAGE FAIRY

A couple had been married for 25 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday.

During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.

The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.

VIDEO: New Guy In Prison

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PHOTOS: Finnegan the Squirrel and His Adoptive Family

Debby Cantlon, who plans to release Finnegan, the young squirrel, back into the wild, bottle-fed the infant squirrel after it was brought to her house. When Cantlon took in the tiny creature and began caring for him, she found herself with an unlikely nurse's aide: her pregnant Papillion, Mademoiselle Giselle.

Finnegan was resting in a nest in a cage just days before Giselle was due to deliver her puppies. Cantlon and her husband watched as the dog dragged the squirrel's cage twice to her own bedside before she gave birth. Cantlon was concerned, yet ultimately decided to allow the squirrel out and the inter-species bonding began.

Finnegan rides a puppy mosh pit of sorts, burrowing in for warmth after feeding, eventually working his way beneath his new litter mates.

Two days after giving birth, mama dog Giselle allowed Finnegan to nurse. Finnegan mostly uses a bottle, but still snuggles with his 'siblings' in a mosh pit of puppies, rolling atop their bodies, and sinking in deeply for a nap. Finnegan and his new litter mates, five Papillion puppies, get along together as if they were meant to. MORAL OF THE STORY: Keep loving everyone, even the squirrelly ones.

ty Les

VIDEO: Crazy Crash Compilation

VIDEO UPDATE: Whale Crashing Onto Yacht

VIDEO: Canadian fighter pilot ejects moments before crashing

A Canadian Forces pilot has survived after ejecting himself from a fighter jet moments before it crashed during practice for an airshow. The pilot has been admitted to a hospital in Alberta, Canada, with undetermined injuries.

Witnesses say Capt Brian Bews was performing low-flying manoeuvres in the CF-18 fighter jet when he ejected and parachuted to the ground. He was practising a run for an airshow at Lethbridge County Airport.

The federal government has begun an investigation at the crash site. "He is alive and we believe right now that his injuries are non-life-threatening," Canadian Forces Captain Nicole Meszaros said.

Photographer Ian Martens said that Capt Bews had looked as if he were unconscious when parachuting from the jet. "I noticed it start to bank a little bit off to one side, which I kind of thought was unusual and I saw a couple of pops and all of a sudden this plane just banked and slowly dropped into the ground into this huge orange ball of fire," Mr Martens said.

Capt Bews joined the Canadian Forces over a decade ago and has been piloting the CF-18 jet since 2004. The Canadian government announced plans last week to spend $9bn (�5.6bn) on a new fleet of F-35 Lightning II Joint Strike Fighter jets, which will replace the ageing CF-18s.

VIDEO: SUPER SLOW LIGHTNING SHOW

VIDEO: Tokyo Time Lapse

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VIDEO: Lawnmower On A Stick

GOT CAPTION? 7/25

JOKE: OLD CODGER NEEDS HELP

A Doctor recently had an old patient in for his annual checkup.

"How are you feeling today," the Doctor asked?

The old man replied: "Doctor, you must help me. Every time I make love to my wife, my eyes get all bleary, my legs go weak, I can hardly catch my breath. Doctor, I'm scarred!"

The Doctor, looking at his 86 year old patient, says "Mr. Olderthantime, these sensations tend to happen over time, especially to a man of your advanced years, but tell me, when did you first notice these symptoms?"

The old man's response was: "Well, three times last night, and twice again this morning!"