Saturday, August 14, 2010

Man jailed on $1 million bail over alleged threat against nurse

omg

Ex-con was angered when she laughed at plans to name child after mobster John Gotti


John Keinath was not amused when a nurse laughed about his plan to name his newborn after the late mob boss, John Gotti.

She thought he was joking. He wasn't.

"I'm going to put a cord around your neck, strangle you until you die, throw you in a ditch, and no one will ever know who did it," the Everett, Washington man allegedly told the nurse before storming out of Stevens Hospital.

That was in March. Keinath, 39, has since been free, awaiting trail on a felony harassment charge.

On Monday, he was back in Snohomish County Superior Court where Judge Kenneth Cowsert jailed him in lieu of $1 million bail.

Keinath is an ex-con with felony convictions for drive-by shooting and beating someone with a piece of pipe. He's spent the past few months trying to trick people at the hospital into providing the nurse's identity, prosecutors maintain.

They obtained an arrest warrant last month after a confidential informant said Keinath had discovered the nurse's name and was talking about harming her, deputy prosecutor Janice Albert told the judge Monday.

Keinath was arrested late last week after being chased around by local police and U.S. marshals.

He had narrowly evaded arrest after surveillance cameras at his home tipped him as federal agents converged, Albert said.

Keinath left so quickly that his cellphone was still open on the bed, the prosecutor said. Soon there was a taunting message on his My Space page: "(Expletive) the us marshalls you were so close!"

Keinath was arrested at gunpoint in Marysville late last week. He tried to run when a law officer called out his street nickname, "Flare."

He's also being investigated for the "softball-sized" amount of methamphetamine police recovered during their hunt, Albert said.

In addition to the drive-by shooting and pipe assault, Keinath's criminal history includes domestic violence and car chases with police. On Monday, he did not challenge the prosecutor's bail request.

JOKE: little Johnny on Tiger Woods

tiger woods

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"

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Top Cop in Frock Shock

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One of India's top cops shocked colleagues by suddenly announcing he had decided to become a woman.

Inspector Dickie Panda is the inspector general of police in Lucknow, state capital of Uttar Pradesh.

But the hardened police chief who made a reputation for getting tough on crime suddenly turned up at work this month in women's clothes - and announced that he was now a woman.

The scandal was kept a secret until he decided to go to court to officially "adopt" his wife and make her his daughter so that he could continue to support her.

He said: "My wife Veena should not suffer now that I am a woman - and obviously we cannot remain married as we are both women - so I am officially declaring her my daughter."

He told the court he was going to give her �300 a month in maintenance.

Badger and Otter - best of friends

VIDEO: When Ducks Cross the Road

GOT CAPTION 8/15

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JOKE: Jim was driving through the country when he saw a sign

APPLE

Jim was driving through the country when he saw a sign reading, "Apples $5 each."

"That's a lot of money for one apple!" he thought, so he stopped to see what's up. He asked the farmer, "Why are your apples so expensive?" The farmer replied, "Because they are special peanut butter and jelly apples. Here, try one."

Jim took a bite and said, "Yep, that tastes like peanut butter, all right. But I can't taste any jelly." The farmer said, "Turn it around." Jim did and, sure enough, jelly!

"These are great; give me a dozen!" The farmer said, "If you like those, how about a ham and cheese apple? Here, try this." He handed Jim an apple from behind the counter, Jim bit into it, and said, "Son of a gun. Ham!" He turned it around and took another bite. "Yep. Cheese. You better give me a dozen of these, too."

As the farmer gave him the bag of apples, he said, "You know, I've got some really special apples under the counter, but they're fifty bucks a piece."

"Fifty bucks?!" exclaimed Jim. "What are they?" "These are pussy apples. Here. Try one." Jim took a bite and spat it out, saying, "Ugh! This apple tastes like shit!" The farmer said, "Turn it around!"

AMAZING FELLOW PLAYS PIANO WITH HIS FEET

VIDEO: A GREAT CATCH!!

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