JOKE: OBAMA WAS TURNING WHITE AND CALLED A DOCTOR

Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed that he was white from the neck to the top of his head.

In a sheer panic and fearing he was turning white all over,

he called his doctor and told him what had happened.

The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.

After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid,
gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.

Barack drank the concoction and said,

"That tasted like bullshit"!

"It was." the doctor replied, "You were a quart low."

10q JJ

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Dead man wins mayoral election in Tennessee

Dead men tell no tales, but apparently they can still get votes. Carl Robin Geary Sr. died of a heart attack on March 10 but that didn't stop voters from electing him mayor of Tracy City.

On Tuesday, the late Mr. Geary defeated incumbent Barbara Brock by 268 votes to 85, according to Grundy County Administrator of Elections Donna Basham. "I knew he was deceased. I know that sounds stupid, but we wanted someone other than her," said Chris Rogers, owner of the town's Lunch Box restaurant. "If he were to run again next week I'd vote for him again."

His widow, Susan Geary, said his election "was not a surprise at all to me. The day he passed away, people were calling with condolences and saying, 'We're still voting for him,'" she said.

Ms. Basham said the seat would be declared vacant and the city's four aldermen would select a new mayor. Staff members at the Tennessee Secretary of State's Office said they've never heard of a dead person winning an election.

Oh 'Grate'! Now's There's a Cat Stuck

Cat who got head stuck in storm drain reunited with owner

The cat who got her head stuck in a storm drain in Norfolk, Virginia on Wednesday has been reunited with her owner. Animal control reported yesterday that they found a cat hanging from a grate on Strawberry Lane by her head.

Not knowing who the cat's owner was, they called the cat "Rubick" and brought it to an area hospital, where she was freed from the storm drain.

Her owner, LeeAnn Spiess, found out about her cat, whose real name is "Emme," and went to go see her at the hospital. Speiss said that Emme is going to be fine and is on medication and resting. She will be picked up from the hospital on Friday.

It is not known how the cat got stuck, but Norfolk police are guessing that the Emme was chased by something, ended up in an open culvert pipe nearby and then tried to squeeze through the grate.

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JOKE: An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up

An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah. He said, "Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I'm only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I never was with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won't know what to do sexually, can I have 72 whores?" Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, "Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because assholes like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you're here to service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually ravenous; and, frankly, you'll be on constant, exhausting duty." The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?" And Allah replied, "Who said they were women ?"