A guy's sitting in a bar having a drink. All of a sudden an alien sits down next to him, licks its finger and sticks it in the guys ear. He's a little annoyed, but doesn't say anything.
The next thing he knows, the alien does it again. This time the guy tells him to quit.
Five minutes later, it happens again. This time he yells at him to stop. Ten minutes later, he finds a finger in his ear.
Finally, he jumps up and screams, " If you don't quit I'm gonna rip your balls off!".
The alien thinks about it for a second, and does it again.
The guy jumps up, pulls its pants down, but there was nothing there! In frustration he asks, "How do you screw?!!"
The alien smiles and sticks his finger in the guys ear.
this car has a very high performance Suzuki Hayabusa motorcycle engine..the body is extremely light being about 2000 pounds..depending on the state of tune of the engine the output might be anywhere from 150 horsepower upwards to 600 horsepower or more..the sounds and performance are the best this side of Ferrari at less than one-fourth the price.
Last month, a Today Show investigation revealed a shocking fact: Major retailers like Victoria's Secret and Macy's were re-selling underwear that customers -- or rather, Today show operatives wearing hidden cameras -- had returned. Even after the Today folks stained said panties with baby oil, they ended up back on the shelves. The investigation disgusted Alicia Vargo, the owner of Pampered Passions Fine Lingerie, an upscale online bra-and-panty retailer based in Englewood. In fact, she was so disgusted, she started an online petition to encourage lawmakers to outlaw the icky practice.
"This poses serious health threats to women," the petition says, noting that worn underwear can harbor "dangerous germs and diseases" for weeks. "The act should be punishable by law." That's right; it's time to bring in The Panty Police.
In an e-mail, Vargo explained her motivation:
The petition was truly put into action because of the terrible press the Today show created when they did their feature on retailers selling used lingerie. Pampered Passions has always had a very strict [return] policy, and our customers have been frustrated with it at times. Our customers do know, however, that we will never sell them anything "recycled," and even the frustrated customers come back as they trust our policies and procedures. Once we collect our 1,000 signatures, we are going to write a letter to Colorado congresspeople to ask them to consider helping us start a bill. We are also trying to gauge if there is enough passion behind this before we do a formal signature collection process. To get a bill on the ballot, you need to hand-collect written signatures (not online signatures), which is a sizable undertaking. This petition, simply put, was designed to bring attention to this practice, show our support of current bills being considered in various states [such as Maryland, Vargo says], and use the signatures as fodder for writing letters to our local congresspeople.
As of noon today, the petition had 157 signatures. So until the day when Coloradans head to the ballot box to say no to dirty panties, Vargo has some tips for avoiding catching diseases in your nether regions:
Make certain you only shop at retail stores that carry disposable panties or thong guards in the dressing rooms -- the equivalent of disposable toilet seat covers. Review stores' return policies.The more flexible the policies are, the more likely they will be to ship out used lingerie. Always wash your lingerie -- or any clothing for that matter -- before wearing it. You don't know who has tried on even a shirt or pair of pants before you. Maybe it was Crabby McCrabberson. Yuck.
Tibetan monks are forced to cremate bodies as the death toll from Wednesday's earthquake continues to climb. The corpses are piled three-deep at Jiegu's Tibetan Buddhist monastery, perched on the mountain above the earthquake-ravaged town. "More than a thousand bodies were brought here," said Ge Laidanzeng, a 20-year-old Tibetan lama at the monastery.
Traditionally, the dead would be given sky burials, their bodies dismembered and then scattered on the top of the mountain for vultures to eat. "We cannot do this for them," said Ge. "There are too many for the vultures to eat."
Instead, the dead will be cremated on Saturday after a prayer service by the head of the Aka monastery, a Living Buddha. The number of bodies at the Jiegu monastery contradicts the official death toll from Wednesday's quakes, the largest of which measured 7.1 magnitude, according to the China Earthquake bureau.
On Friday, the official death toll climbed to 760, with a further 243 people missing and 1,174 severely injured. "I believe at least 10,000 were killed," said Ge. "There are four other monasteries collecting the dead and they are the same as us," he said. "Then there are all the people still buried. The government is playing down the figures."
