Controversial Xmas Display Shows Jesus Hunting Down Santa and Rudolph

A Christmas display is being blamed for spreading holiday jeer around the neighborhood.

The display features Santa, Jesus and Rudolph, but it's not your typical holiday decor.

Santa is shown dead on the ground with X's over his eyes. Standing over Santa and staring down the barrel of his shotgun is Jesus. And the dead, limp body of Rudolph is strewn over the back of a pickup truck.

The display is the work of Ron Lake, who says he's simply trying to make a point about the commercialized holiday.

"Christmas isn't about Santa; it's about Jesus," he said. "It's an expression of my repressed creativity."

But neighbours don't care what Lake's point is. "It's morbid," said neighbor Karen Clement."It's private property and everybody has a right to it, but then I have a right to stand up and say, 'I don't like it."'

Court says inmates must endure sheriff's Christmas music

Sheriff Joe Arpaio - the self-proclaimed "toughest sheriff" in America - likes Christmas music, especially "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and anything by Alvin and the Chipmunks, and apparently he thinks the 8,000 inmates inside his Phoenix jail should, too.

So it was with some glee that his Maricopa County office announced Thursday in a red-and-green press release that the "sixth and perhaps final lawsuit" brought by inmates to stop the sheriff from playing the holiday songs all day, every day, during the holidays had been dismissed in federal court.

"We keep winning these lawsuits. Inmates should stop acting like the Grinch who stole Christmas and give up wasting the court's time with such frivolous assertions," it read. "But chances are they'll keep suing and we'll keep winning."

The latest lawsuit was filed by inmate William Lamb, who said that being forced to listen to the Christmas songs 12 hours a day was a violation of his civil and religious rights. But U.S. District Judge Roz Silver disagreed, dismissing the case and denying Lamb's claim for $250,000 in damages.

He said that his Christmas selections were multi-ethnic and culturally diverse, from all faiths and ethnicities. He said that in addition to tunes by Alvin and the Chipmunks, the music included the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Bing Crosby and Doctor Demento.

Lt. Brian Lee, the sheriff's spokesman, said the court issued a summary judgment upholding the decision to "inject the holiday spirit into the lives of those incarcerated over the holiday season in the third-largest jail system in the U.S."

inmates exercising in the yard in their customary pink underwear

DON'T CALL THIS GUY TO REMOVE A TREE

JOKE: One day in the future, OJ Simpson has a heart-attack and dies.

One day in the future, OJ Simpson has a heart-attack and dies.

He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

OJ thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room.

In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.

"No," OJ said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the door of the next room.

In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented OJ.

The devil opened a third door. Through it, OJ saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

OJ looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said .. . . . .

"OK, Monica, you're free to go."

JOKE:

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, She confides this ' news' to her mother.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did This to you?


I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.


Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.


He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the Girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family Situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However,

If there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand


Firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You can try again !"