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JOKE: Irish Jokes

An Irish lass, a customer: 'Could I be trying on that dress in the window?'

Shopkeeper: 'I'd prefer that you use the dressing room.'

Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, 'Is that you I hear spittin' in the vase on the mantel piece?'

'No,' said himself, 'but I'm gettin' closer all the time.'

'O'Halloran,' asked the pharmacist, 'did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife's appearance?'

'It did surely,' replied O'Halloran, 'but it keeps fallin' off.'

The Doctor was puzzled 'I'm very sorry Mr O'Flaherty, but I can't diagnose your trouble. I think it must be drink.'

'Don't worry about it Dr Cullen, I'll come back when you're sober.', said O' Flaherty.

'Ah, that was a lovely dress,' announced Colleen, 'and it would have fitted me if I could have got into it, so it would.'

O'Gara was arrested and sent for trial for armed bank robbery.

After due deliberation, the jury foreman stood up and announced, 'Not guilty.'

'That's grand,' shouted O'Gara, 'Does that mean I get to keep the money?'

Reilly is walking through a graveyard when he comes across a headstone with the inscription "Here lies a politician and an honest man."

'Faith now,' exclaims Reilly, 'I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave.

GOT CAPTION? 8/04

GOT CAPTION? 8/04 v.2.0

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A Georgia woman has been charged with murder after allegedly killing her boyfriend with the heel of her stiletto shoe.

Authorities allege that Thelma Carter, 46, struck her boyfriend in the head with the heel, killing him. Police believe Robert F Higdon, 48, was killed on Sunday evening after a physical dispute between the two inside their trailer on a mobile home estate in Augusta.

Investigators are not sure how many times Ms Carter allegedly struck Mr Higdon with the shoe before he died, but said that his body showed signs of trauma to the head. Ms Carter told police she fled the trailer after the argument and returned to find Mr Higdon dead.

The Augusta Chronicle reported that police recovered the body on Monday morning after Ms Carter notified them of the death. An autopsy is due to be carried out. Ms Carter has been remanded in custody.