"Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month."
"You are forgiven, my son. Go and say three Hail Mary's." Soon after, another man enters the confessional.
"Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months."
This time the priest asks, "Who is Nookie Green?"
"A new woman in the neighborhood," the sinner replies.
"Ah. Very well," sighs the priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's."
At Mass the next morning, as the priest prepares to deliver his sermon, a gorgeous, tall woman enters the sanctuary wearing a short skirt with shiny emerald shoes. Every man's eyes follow her as she sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest keeping her legs slightly spread apart.
The priest turns to the altar boy and whispers, "Is that Nookie Green?"
And the bug-eyed altar boy replies, "Nah, I think it's more like a reflection off her shoes!"