Thursday, October 27, 2011

JOKE: BUG HITS WINDSHIELD

A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his infidelity when suddenly the woman reached over and cut the man's penis off and tossed it out the window.

Driving behind the couple was a man and his 8-year-old daughter. The girl was chatting away to her father when all of a sudden the penis splattered into their car windscreen, stuck for a moment, then disappeared over the roof. Surprised, the daughter asked her father,"Daddy, what was that?"

Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied, "It was only a bug, Honey."
The daughter sat with a confused look on her face, and after moment said: "Had a big dick, didn't it?"
lmao

GOT CAPTION? 10/28


Photobucket

GOT CAPTION? 10/28 v.2.0


Photobucket

VIDEO: Drunk, Topless Ohio Woman Leads Police on 128 MPH Chase

Photobucket


Police in Ohio recently arrested a near-naked woman whose apparent need to reach speeds allegedly in excess of 120 mph left her wearing not much more than a set of stainless steel bracelets.

The events leading up to a high-speed chase occurred around 4 a.m. on Oct. 11. An officer was patrolling Route 422 in Bainbridge when he clocked 28-year-old Erin Holdsworth of Hiram, Ohio, driving her 2002 Mazda 626 at nearly twice the 65 mph speed limit. The officer attempted to make a traffic stop but Holdsworth refused to comply, according to Bainbridge Police Chief Jon Bokovitz.

"There was a pursuit of about seven miles," Bokovitz told The Huffington Post. "An officer from the [Geauga County] Sheriff's Office was in the area, and he put down stop sticks."

Both of the left tires on Holdsworth's vehicle were punctured by metal barbs on the tire-deflation device, forcing her to pull her disabled vehicle over to the side of the road. It was at that point that the routine stop took a bizarre turn.

"Well, she got out of her car on her own and she had on just a white thong and a fishnet top that was completely see-through," Bokovitz said. He added, "She was obviously under the influence."

"She was not very forthcoming on where she was coming from, what she was doing or why she was dressed the way she was," Bokovitz said.

Holdsworth allegedly refused to submit to a blood alcohol test, and Bokovitz said she appeared to be too inebriated for officers to conduct a field sobriety test with her. "She was so unsure on her feet that she probably would have fell and hurt herself," the chief said.

Despite refusing the test, Holdsworth was compliant with the arresting officer. It was not until they got her in the back of the patrol car that the stoic female allegedly became agitated, according to police.

Police footage of the arrest shows what appears to be an enraged and near-naked Holdsworth attempting to break out windows in the police cruiser. Bokovitz said Holdsworth "kicked and beat her head on the glass and everything."

Holdsworth was eventually brought under control and charged in Chardon Municipal Court with one count each of operating a vehicle while intoxicated, refusing a blood alcohol content test, fleeing and eluding, criminal damaging, driving under a suspended license, speeding and reckless operation.

Authorities did not file any charges in regard to Bokovitz's revealing clothing -- or the apparent lack thereof.

"In the state of Ohio [public nudity] has to be a willful wanton act, which in this case she wasn't really walking around or displaying herself to the public," Bokovitz said.

Holdsworth pleaded not guilty to all of the charges. She has since been freed from the Geauga County Safety Center. Holdsworth is due back in court on November 2. Attempts to reach Holdsworth were unsuccessful and it is unclear whether she has an attorney.

"It is a unique case," Bokovitz said. "We don't know where she was in the state of dress she was in. It is kind of weird but you see a lot of stuff out here doing this job."

VIDEO: Doll Baby cries in the night, saves family from fire

Photobucket


A toy doll that was part of a project to give teens a realistic look at parenting woke up 17-year-old Christian Deason just as a fire was destroying the family home.

The doll is programmed to cry at different times of the day and night, just like a newborn baby.

Deason's teacher had programmed the doll Friday before school let out for the weekend.

Deason brought the doll home not knowing when it was programmed to cry.

At 3:30 a.m. Oct. 24 the baby doll began to cry, waking Deason up just as the fire was eating its way through her La Vergne, Tennessee house.

Deason immediately got everyone out of the house.

"It was a big white wall of smoke, I fanned it for a second, and I see flames. I ran straight to my mothers room got her out, got my dog out, put the toy baby in the carrier, and we were out," said Deason.

La Vergne Fire Marshall Victor Woods said the fire detectors in the house were not working and the family had only about a minute to get out of the house.

"The toy doll crying was really the key to getting them out safely," said Woods.

Marina Deason, Christian Deason's mother, believes fate may have played a hand in the teacher setting the program for the doll to cry at 3:30 a.m.

"I think God works in mysterious ways, definitely fate had something to do with it," said Marina Deason.

"I was suppose to get this baby, I was suppose to take it home, everything was suppose to happen the way it happened," said Christian Deason.

VIDEO: Raw Cockpit Footage Taken During A Blue Angels Airshow

VIDEO: Most Beautiful Car Sounds Ever! Exotics Singing!



digitalpoint

Geo Visitors Map

~WHIRLED GNUS~

Followers

Blog Archive