JOKE: An Irishman hobbled into a doctor's office...

An Irishman hobbled into a doctor's office. "I think I broke my foot."

"What happened?"

"Well, it all started twenty years ago."

"Twenty years?" the startled doctor exclaimed.

"Yep. I had just started as an apprentice to Sean O'Toole and I was sleeping in his hayloft. The first night, his young daughter climbed up into the hayloft and asked me if there was anything she could do for me.

I said, 'No, I'm comfortable. ' and she left."

"So?" asked the doctor.

"Then, the next night, she climbed up there again, but this time wearing only a nightgown.

'Now is there anything I can do for you?' she asked me and again I told her, 'Nope. I'm good.' "

"I don't understand," said the doctor.

"Then, on the third night, she climbed up there stark naked and asked me the same thing. And again, I said I was fine, and she left."

"I'm confused," said the doctor. "What does this have to do with your broken foot?"

"I'm getting' there, doc. This afternoon, when I finally realized what she meant, I got so mad I kicked a brick wall!"

Bus driver admits enjoying vodka and oranges before going to work

She admitted downing several vodka and oranges before driving 50 students home from Lions Park Elementary School, said Tandra Simonton, a spokeswoman for the Cook County Illinois state's attorney.

A co-worker noticed the smell on her breath at 2:30 p.m., police said, but Burden's supervisor didn't alert police until 3:45 p.m.

A school bus driver who allegedly drove a bus full of students while nearly three times the legal blood alcohol limit has been suspended and charged with aggravated DUI.

Betty Burden, 54, allegedly reeked of booze and had a blood alcohol level of 0.226 when she was arrested Tuesday afternoon in Mount Prospect, prosecutors say.

Burden wasn't arrested until she had completed her route and dropped off all of her young passengers, according to Mount Prospect Police. She failed a series of sobriety tests before failing the blood alcohol test, police said.

"What happened was totally unacceptable," School District 57 Board President Joe Leane said.

Officials are investigating the delay getting Burden off the road, he added.

She has been suspended without pay and faces termination at a meeting next week, according to a school district news release. The release said administrators were "outraged."

Burden had passed previous random drug tests, the release said. Bus drivers are not tested for alcohol.

Judge Joseph Urso ordered Burden, of Mount Prospect, held on $10,000 bond during a hearing at Rolling Meadows courthouse Wednesday morning.

VIDEO: Saudi Man Arrested For Sexually Suggestive Youtube Video

Saudi officials have reportedly arrested the star of a video that shows a young man flirting and dancing while wearing a police uniform.

The video, which became a viral hit on YouTube, shows the man posing as a police officer.

He asks the cameraman for his driver's license and registration, before saying both are expired. He then says the cameraman must give him "comfort" instead of paying the fine.

Police First Lt. Nawaf Al-Bouq told Arab News that the 27-year-old man star of the clip had been arrested along with another man.

"He is facing three charges: One is for homosexuality; the other for general security; and the third is for impersonating a police officer," said Al-Bouq.

The clip is another example of how social media and videos may be spreading knowledge of Saudi Arabia's sexual underground. In February, Mazen Abdul Jawad faced trial for boasting on television about his sex life. He was sentenced to five years and 1,000 lashes.

Pot in 5th graders Fruity Pebbles treats

Police say a fifth grader brought special Fruity Pebbles treats to school on Monday: they contained marijuana.

Police say they were contacted after several fifth graders at Stoneman Elementary School in Pittsburg California shared nibbles of the sugary treat.

A couple of students told school staff, who contacted police and paramedics, said Pittsburg school superintendent Barbara Wilson.

The student who brought the treats to school knew they contained pot, police say. The student had obtained the treats from her adult sister.

The older sister told police she received the pot treats from a medical marijuana dispensary. Pittsburg police are investigating whether the sister had a legitimate card to obtain the pot.

Lieut. Brian Addington of the Pittsburg Police Department said the students who tried the treat had ingested minute amounts of pot.

Just released from prison, man is busted again on pot charges while driving home

A 27-year-old man convicted of dealing marijuana was arrested this morning, when police say he was smoking pot on his way home from prison.
Sir James Smith, Indianapolis, was being driven by his wife from Putnamville Correctional Facility when police pulled over their car for a license plate infraction on the 4500 block of west Washington Street at 2 a.m.

Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Officer Erik Forestal said in a report that when he approached the car it smelled of marijuana.
Sharmainique Royal, 21, Indianapolis, was driving the white Nisasan Sentra with the couple's 11-month old daughter, Sir'ir Royal, and friend, Shaneka Williams, 20, Indianapolis, in the back seat, according to the police report.
Royal told Forestal that she had bought some pot to smoke with her husband after they picked him up from prison.
Police found a small amount of marijuana in the car and preliminarily charged Smith, Royal and Williams with possession of marijuana and neglect of a dependent for smoking in the presence of the baby.
The infant was put into custody of the state department of Child Protective Services.
Smith was released from Putnamville after serving four-month sentence for dealing in marijuana, hash oil or hashish, according to Indiana Department of Corrections records.
He had been sentenced previously to two years in prison on the same charge.