JOKE: TRUE CONFESSION

One Sunday morning, a young woman, who needed forgiveness for her sins, came to a Baptist church.

She got up in front of the congregation and stated, "Last week, I slept with a young soldier who picked me up at a bar and now I ask the Lord's forgiveness."

"Hallelujah," cried the congregation!

She continued, "Two days ago, I slept with a young sailor, but now I ask the Lord's forgiveness."

"Hallelujah," cried the congregation again!

"But tonight, because I have come here and done my penance, I will sleep with the Lord," she finished.

But before the congregation could respond, an old drunk in the back yelled out in a clear voice, "That's right momma, screw 'em all."

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Oklahoma Couple charged in 'missing finger' case plead guilty to possessing meth

The Stillwater couple charged last winter for possessing methamphetamine after woman was seen frantically searching a vehicle for her boyfriend's "missing finger" have pleaded guilty to felony drug charges. Ashley Marie Brooker, 23, pleaded guilty to driving under the influence of a controlled substance and fifth-degree possession of methamphetamine last month. She is scheduled to be sentenced on June 15. Nicholas Thomas Doyle, 25, pleaded guilty to fifth-degree possession of a controlled substance. His sentencing date is scheduled for Aug. 2.

According to the criminal complaint: Stillwater police responded to the Lakeview Hospital parking lot after an emergency medical technician (EMT) reported seeing an "extremely agitated" woman flailing her arms. When approached by the EMT, Brooker said she was looking for a finger as she frantically searched the passenger's side of the vehicle.

The EMT noticed what was described in the complaint as "severe pock marks, scarring and scabs on the woman's face" and believed her behaviour to be consistent with methamphetamine use. The EMT then called police. Responding officers questioned Brooker and were told that her boyfriend, Doyle, severed a finger and that she believed it to be somewhere inside the vehicle. Officers found the cap to a hypodermic syringe on the driver's seat when Brooker got out of the car.

She then admitted to having a syringe full of what was later found to be methamphetamine in the driver's console. Meanwhile, a second responding officer located a man inside the hospital fitting the description of Doyle. When questioned by police, Doyle said he cut his finger but did not sever it. Doyle also admitted Brooker drove him to the hospital. Police searched Doyle and found a hypodermic syringe cap in his left front pocket.

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