I like to post videos,crazy news items and jokes..if I make you laugh,I am rewarded in knowing that I made your day better...
Thursday, November 10, 2011
JOKE: Little Bobby and the Kindergarten class
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.
She was reluctant to call upon little Bobby, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Bobby walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.
Well, the teacher couldn't figure out what Bobby had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.
"It's a period," said Bobby.
"Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period?"
"Damned if I know," said Bobby, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."
Undersea Volcanic Eruption Reaches Ocean's Surface
The volcano near the Canary Island of El Hierro is now only 70 metres away from the surface and is spewing magma 20 metres into the air.
The undersea volcano eruption is set to create a brand new island as the lava piles up on an underwater mountain in the Atlantic Ocean.
Geologists believe that new land could soon emerge from the sea, and islanders are already looking for a name for the new territory.
"The monster rises out of the water", screamed the Spanish newspaper La Provincia. Scientists, meanwhile, are being a bit more level-headed about the undersea volcano south of El Hierro in the Canary Islands; they now believe it is in the third phase of its eruption -- fountains of water have been shooting out of the Atlantic up to 20 meters in the air over the last few days. On Tuesday, some local residents even saw stones being catapulted out of the sea.
A seething maelstrom, dozens of meters across, is bubbling away in the ocean. Measurements show that the vortices are significantly warmer than the surrounding water.
So far, the volcano has only shown its explosive power beneath the water. But now the outbursts to the south of El Hierro are frothing up the surface, as if the ocean had hiccups. The lava is piling up on an underwater mountain. That the eruption is capable of firing jets of water into the air shows that this mountain is growing -- the center of the eruption is approaching the surface. Geologists believe that new land could soon emerge from the sea, and islanders are already looking for a name for the new territory. There are only 70 meters to go until the mountain reaches the surface, experts from Spain's National Geographic Institute (IGN) have reported.
But how big is the risk to nearby residents? Last weekend, hundreds of people had to leave their homes in the southern part of El Hierro as streets were closed. And locals can quite literally smell the danger -- stinking sulfur fumes are drifting across the ocean. The Volcanology Institute of the Canaries, Involcan, has reported a three-fold increase in carbon dioxide levels -- a warning signal that further volcanic activity can be expected.
Clear Sign of Impending Eruptions
Seismic disturbances on the seabed have also been spreading. Since July, more than 10,000 minor earthquakes have shaken El Hierro, but since Oct. 22, the tremors have become increasingly stronger with some even surpassing four on the Richter scale. The quakes are showing a pattern typical of flowing magma, the so-called harmonic volcanic tremor -- a clear sign of impending eruptions.
And scientists have been warning since September that if and when those eruptions do occur, they could well happen on land. In recent days, the tremors have shifted from the south to the north of El Hierro. Because most of the quakes there had occurred at a depth of ten kilometers or greater, there was probably no immediate risk of an eruption in the area, the local authorities had said. The magma had been confined to the deep.
But it has now started moving upwards -- the most recent earthquakes have been shallower.
There could soon be eruptions in or near the El Golfo valley on the northern coast, the IGN has warned. And an outpouring of lava could prove dangerous not only if it happens on land, but also in shallow water, where it could result in large steam explosions, says Ramon Ortiz, scientific adviser to the local government.
Hot Spot Volcanoes
Off the southern coast, meanwhile, pumice stones and a massive sea of ash are drifting across the water. An initial analysis of the material produced by the volcano so far has surprised experts: It provided "clear evidence of the explosive potential" of the volcano, geochemist Domingo Gimeno Torrent of the University of Barcelona told the El Hierro Diaro newspaper.
Most so-called hot spot volcanoes, like those in the Canaries, produce basaltic magma with a relatively small proportion of silicon dioxide (SiO2). SiO2 acts like a glue, producing very viscous magma, leading to a buildup of gases which results in an explosive mixture. The Geochemist Torrent said the El Hierro volcano, however, is feeding off two supplies of lava; a less volatile basalt magma and a much more explosive, SiO2-rich magma.
The risk of large, explosive eruptions in the Canary Islands "should not be neglected," warned geoscientist Rosa Sobradelo from the Spanish National Research Council (CSIC) in Barcelona in a report in the "Natural Hazards and Earth System Sciences" journal. How often such events happen is unknown. But even the most momentous explosions of the past few centuries remained localized.
And there are no fears of large eruptions on land, according to the IGN. The only risk is in the immediate vicinity of the eruption site, where there may be lava flows and rocks flung into the air.
Rugby player who had stroke woke up gay and became hairdresser
Chris Birch, 26, suffered a stroke during during a freak training accident when he attempted a back flip and broke his neck.
But following his recovery he quit his bank job to become a hairdresser, grew to hate sport, called off his engagement and started dating a man.
"I was gay when I woke up and I still am," he said. "It sounds strange but when I came round I immediately felt different. I wasn't interested in women any more.
"I had never been attracted to a man before - I'd never even had any gay friends. But I didn't care about who I was before, I had to be true to my feelings."
Prior to the accident, Mr Birch was planning on settling down with his girlfriend and spent weekends playing sport and drinking with his mates.
Mr Birch, of Ystrad Mynach, South Wales, said: "Suddenly I hated every� thing about my old life. I didn't get on with my friends, I hated sport and found my job boring.
"I started to take more pride in my appearance, bleached my hair and started working out. I went from a 266 pound skinhead, to a 154 pound preened man.
People I used to know barely recognised me and with my new look I became even more confident."
He retrained as a hairdresser and now lives with his partner Jack Powell, 19, above the salon he works in.
Two years ago it was reported that Alan Brown, from Malvern, Worcestershire, woke from a stroke to find he was able to paint and draw in incredible detail, despite no previous evidence of the skill.
The father of three said the experience must have 'flicked a switch' in the creative part of his brain.
And Mr Birch certainly has no regrets about his transformation. 'I'm nothing like the old Chris now but I wouldn't change a thing,' he said.
"I think I'm happier than ever, so I don't regret the accident.
Stroke Association spokesman Joe Korner said: "During recovery the brain makes new neural connections which can trigger things people weren't aware of, such as accent, language or perhaps a different sexuality."
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