Bogota's Bulletproof Tailor

By Ryan Duffy, VBS.TV Correspondent

Brooklyn, New York (VBS.TV) -- Colombian tailor Miguel Caballero specializes in making garments that enable the wearer to get shot at point-blank range with nary an injury besides, maybe, a bruised ego. At-high-risk-of-catching-a-bullet demographics, such as rappers and politicians all over the world, rely on Miguel's handiwork. And, lucky me, when I was recently in Bogota for VBS.TV covering a few stories, I had the chance to visit Miguel's shop, learn about his protective clothing, and get shot in the gut by him. Seriously.

Upon arriving at Miguel's warehouse one sunny morning, I received a guided tour from a friendly office assistant. It all seemed totally benign -- sweet middle aged ladies stitching together jackets and blazers, smiling at me as I walked by. I could've been at American Apparel's Southern California warehouse.

But when I sat down with Miguel and he got into the whole spiel about why he made the type of clothing he did, nervousness started to set in. Was this guy seriously going to put a thin jacket on me and then shoot me with a real live handgun? The man is running a multimillion-dollar international business. Is he really so confident in his wares that he's going to risk it all by potentially killing a novice American journalist on camera?

The answer was yes. But first he had to finish telling me about himself.

Miguel explained his business model to me, and it was hard to dispute the logic. The world's an increasingly dangerous place for political leaders and citizens alike. Miguel is simply combining the need for safety with the natural desire to look good.

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And judging by his success, I'm not the only one who gets it. There were rumors that President Obama wore some of Miguel's goods during his inauguration. Plus, look at the automobile industry. Not long ago, Hummers were the province of soldiers in combat. Today, they're a staple of suburban strip malls. How long until Miguel's pieces follow suit?

By this point, Miguel seemed very determined to prove the reliability of his products to me. I figured it would be somewhat staged: I'd sign something, be ushered into a safe room, and he'd fire a couple blanks into some military grade flak jacket. Thanks and good night.

Instead, my new buddy Miguel popped the question mid-interview in his office. And it wasn't really a question. I believe he said, "Now we'll do a demonstration with you." Not exactly a request.

He stood up from his desk, opened a drawer, and casually pulled out a .38. This was happening very fast. He moved me over to the side of the room, outfitted me with some noise-reducing headphones, and offered me a black suede jacket. After instructing me to take a deep breath on "1" and prepare for a gunshot on "3," he shot me in the gut on "2."

Obviously I lived to tell the tale. But -- most importantly -- I like to think that I looked damn good doing it.

GOT CAPTION?

JOKE: The Swede's wife stepped up to the tee

The Swede's wife stepped up to the tee and, as she bent over to place her ball, a gust of wind blew her skirt up and revealed her lack of underwear.

"Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?", Ole demanded.

"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any," she replied..

The Swede immediately reached into his pocket and said, "For the sake of decency, here's a $50. Go and buy yourself some underwear."

Next, the Irishman's wife bent over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blew up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies.

"Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?"

She replied, "I can't afford any on the little money you give me."

Patrick reached into his pocket and said,

"For the sake of decency , here's a $20. Go out and buy yourself some underwear!"

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bent over. The wind also took her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked. "Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie!

Where the friggin hell are yer drawers?"

She too explained, 'You dinna give me enough money to be able at affarrd any."

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and said,

"Well, fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit...

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Car plows through restaurant as diners run for cover

Several diners at a restaurant in Australia are lucky to be alive after a driver with a provisional licence crashed his car into the building. The vehicle collided with a bus and then ricocheted into a Japanese restaurant in the western city of Perth.

Five people were hurt, including a nine-year-old girl whose father can be seen in CCTV footage scrambling over debris to get to her. Another man in a business suit can be seen looking up from beneath the car bonnet, which had him pinned to the ground.

Police said it was fortunate no-one was killed in the accident. Royal Perth Hospital said four men were treated for "bumps and scratches" and released a short time later.

The girl was taken to another hospital where she was treated for minor injuries. Officers later questioned the driver but no charges have been laid.

Kitten survives trip to Canada from China in shipping container

A stowaway who spent as many as 45 days locked in a shipping container imported from China greeted her Calgary rescuers with the universal word for thanks: "meow." Staff members at an exotic stone import business were met with the furry surprise on Thursday when they discovered the severely malnourished calico kitten tucked away with an order of granite slabs.

Amy Bindman, an interior designer at ICON Stone and Tile, said orders from China typically take 30 to 45 days to arrive in Calgary, and she's at a loss to explain how the kitty, since named Mandarin, survived the journey in the steel container with nothing but granite slabs and wood bracing. Bindman said the cat, whose coat features patches of black, white and orange, was "pretty distressed and very, very thin." And judging by its pathetic greeting, "had been meowing for weeks. We had to empty the entire container before being able to reach the cat, because (she) jumped and hid in a corner that was unreachable," Bindman added.

Mandarin is currently in the care of the Calgary Humane Society. Spokeswoman Desiree Arsenault said the kitten, estimated to be just six months old, weighed 900 grams when it arrived at the shelter, about half the normal weight for a cat that age. Arsenault confirmed that the kitty's tale of survival, which combined an unorthodox method of travel without any apparent source of food or water, is "extremely unusual."

"There may have been mice or things running round the enclosure . . . I can only guess," Arsenault offered. Mandarin will spend the next few days in quarantine while veterinarians run blood tests to screen her for diseases, and will decide afterward what treatments or vaccinations the feline may need. Staff at the humane society are feeding the cat liquid food delivered by needle under her skin, just in case her stomach can't handle the real thing yet.

JOKE: Little Johnny and the Teacher

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny, Pat?" "I just saw one of your garters!"

"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"

"I just saw both of your garters!"

Again, she yells, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!"

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asks.

"From what I just saw, my school days are over!"

75-year-old woman drives car into liquor store for second time

A 75-year-old woman drove her car through the front of an Atlanta liquor store on Monday, causing 1,500 bottles of alcohol to shatter, police said. According to the incident report, Constance Chapman crashed her car into the front window of Green's package store at 737 Ponce de Leon Avenue around 3:15 p.m.

Chapman, who drives a white Mazda Miata, said her brakes went out while she was attempting to pull into a parking space in front of the store. She also told officers at the scene that this is the second time she has done this at Green's.

Jenetha Gardiner, who was working at Green's at the time of Monday's accident, was right behind the window during the collision, the report said. The car pinned her between the broken window and a shelf, and she experienced head trauma from a falling bottle of alcohol, according to the report.

Gardiner was transported to Atlanta Medical Center by Grady EMS, police said. Chapman was checked by Grady EMS as well, but said she would drive herself to the hospital, police said. Her Miata was removed from the window and towed.