►WHIRLED GNUS◄: Sep 4, 2011

Sunday, September 4, 2011

VIDEO: @ 170 mph..brakes fail..oh shiiiiiiit

JOKE: the Young Jewish Couple

A young Jewish couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an unfortunate incident occurred. Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet for the morning's relief, and neglected to notice that the seat was up. When she sat, she kept going! She was just the right size and shape so that she became jammed into the toilet past her waist with her legs sticking straight up in front of her. She cried for her husband, who rushed in, and for the next hour tried desperately to extricate her. In this process they removed her sleeping gown, but this only left her naked and still stuck, with a particular part of her anatomy prominently visible between her splayed legs. Finally, the couple resolved to call a plumber, despite the embarrassing nature of their problem. When the plumber arrived, the young man let him in, but as they were walking to the bathroom, the young man realized that his wife was exposed in a very compromising and humiliating way. Thinking fast, he ran ahead of the plumber and placed the first thing he could think of, his yarmulke skull cap, over his wife's exposed privates. The plumber walked into the bathroom, took one long look, and commented: "Well, I think I can save your wife, buddy, but the Rabbi's a goner."

GOT CAPTION? 9/05

GOT CAPTION? 9/05 v.2.0

VIDEO: Lyrebirds are So Cool

The lyre bird, which lives in Australia, takes its name from the fact that its tail resembles such an instrument when fully opened. In addition to wings that resemble those of the pheasant, the lyre bird is renowned for its ability to mimic sounds. In addition to other birds and animals, it can also imitate mechanical sounds such as car engines or horns. In this short film you can see how the lyre bird imitates mechanical sounds as well as those of other living things.

A Lyrebird is either of two species of ground-dwelling Australian birds, most notable for their superb ability to mimic natural and artificial sounds from their environment. Lyrebirds have unique plumes of neutral colored tailfeathers.

Lyrebirds are among Australia's best-known native birds. As well as their extraordinary mimicking ability, lyrebirds are notable because of the striking beauty of the male bird's huge tail when it is fanned out in display; and also because of their courtship display.

Keith Brown, father of The 5 Browns piano group , sentenced to 10 years in jail for sodomy, sexual abuse on daughters

PROVO, Utah -- The father of the renowned piano group The 5 Browns was sentenced Thursday to serve at least 10 years in prison on charges that he sexually abused his three daughters when they were children.

Keith S. Brown, 55, pleaded guilty in February to one felony count of sodomy of a child and two felony counts of sexual abuse of a child.

Fourth District Judge David Mortensen sentenced Brown to 10 years to life on the first count and 15 years to life for each of the others. The sentences will run concurrently, but Brown will have to serve at least 10 years under the plea agreement.

"I do believe, sir, that you are a pedophile and I do believe that you are a danger to society," Mortensen said before handing down the sentence.

Brown had been free pending the sentencing but was led away by a bailiff after Thursday's hearing to be taken to the Utah State Prison.

Brown's three daughters Desirae, 32, Deondra, 30 and Melody, 26 and two sons make up The 5 Browns, whose albums have topped the classical music charts and who have appeared on "Oprah," "60 Minutes" and other programs.

Keith Brown once served as manager of his children's group, but they severed their professional relationship with him in 2008.

The Brown sisters remain estranged from their father. They reported the abuse to Lone Peak police last year after learning that their father planned to begin working with other young musicians.

The Associated Press does not generally identify people who say they were sexually abused, but the Brown sisters have chosen to be identified.

Kimball Thomson, a spokesman for group, told The Associated Press on Tuesday that sisters weren't in court Thursday because they are on tour. All three wrote letters to the judge expressing their feelings about the case, Thomson said. The letters are not public.

"The girls don't want to make any statements about the case right now," Thomson said.

Deputy Utah County Attorney David Sturgill on Thursday called Brown's daughters courageous and said he was satisfied with the negotiated plea and the sentence. Sturgill has said the three charges don't reflected the years-long pattern of abuse suffered by Brown's children.